Bad fricken day

I woke up around 6 am with my ankle being stabbed. I took my last BT med that I had. I stayed up and then made breakfast. I was not in a good mood. I had to go to the pharmacy to get my meds. I left the house a couple hours after they opened. It was a better day put today than yesterday. The wind and rain finally stopped. I got to the pharmacy and there was a line. So much for being in and out. I waited and when I was called, found that my pain meds still wasn’t being worked on. The guy said it would be an hour and I told him I would be back.

I walked home and started having palpitations. My heart rate over 100, resting before I left the house. When it calmed down, I left. But then it shot back up again. I started drinking Gatorade thinking I was dehydrated. It made no difference. My heart rate stayed in the 90s most of the day. I took some ativan for the palpitations.

I met with my psychopharm and she thought it was a symptom of Covid19. I don’t have any other symptoms so we quickly ruled it out. She gave me the hotline number for Covid at the hospital in case I do get symptoms. We talked about things that were going on and medication. She refilled my meds that I needed. I’ll pick them up tomorrow. I just felt really depressed all day. Pain was driving me nuts. The ankle pain never really settled down. I wanted to shower today but I hurt too much. The second trip to the pharmacy killed me. My back is just not strong enough for two trips outside. I rested and tried to take a nap but failed. I just couldn’t relax enough. I hope I can sleep tonight because I have an early morning appt with my neurosurgeon tomorrow. I will find out what the results of the MRI are. I am pretty nervous but I hope I am ok.

I felt depressed this morning because of pain. I expressed my feelings in Facebook and then got reported. Fuckers. I told my therapist and she wanted to know who reported me. I said I don’t know as it is anonymous. So frustrating to open up and then be shot down. I won’t be doing that again. I’m so sick of it. So that made my mood worse. Today has not been a good day.

any thoughts?

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