Month: November 2021

Better man (Taylor’s Version)

I’ve been listening to Red TV since it came out. I am now listening to songs on repeat. Better Man is one of those songs. I love this song so much.

I have just been eating pies and cookies today rather than real food. I have had two cups of coffee with the sweets. I plan on attacking  my sister’s cheesecake later. I don’t plan on doing anything today other than getting my third vaccine and picking up my meds when I go to the pharmacy. I am also going to get some burn blister stuff for my burn so it can hurry up the healing process.

I shaved and brushed my teeth today. I figured I would do that while I was in the bathroom. It is cold today so I plan on wearing my beanie Sox hat. It is also rainy which is probably why my back hurts today. Shoulder also hurts, well my arm. I will be having the vaccine in my right arm which will probably make it sore as hell. I have the weekend to recuperate if I get side effects.

I got my shot. It hurt. Arm isn’t sore yet. I was thinking of getting some blister bandages but all they had were large and my blister isn’t that big. Of course it popped when I hit my hand on the railing as I was getting in my house. I am still out of breath from walking up the street and the circular staircase. I got a regular band aid on my hand and I hate wearing bandages but the blister is all open and I don’t want to get it infected. I might have to use a glove when I have to cath to protect it.

My cousin texted me to remind me of the OSU/Xichigan game tomorrow. I might watch it if I am up. The 24lb turkey is gone so I will have one of my pot pies tomorrow and will try not to have it go flying on the floor this time and burn myself with it.

It is after 5pm and I am tired. My usual sleepy hour has come. Doesn’t matter what I am doing or don’t do, I am always tired around the same time each day. Then I have a hard time falling asleep if I don’t nap. Last night I moved something on my bed and my 100 colored pencils box fell off the bed. Did it stay closed? Of course not. I got half a box of pencils on my floor near my bed. I bought a pencil case that is zippered and has more than 100 slots so when that case comes in is when the pencils will be picked up. Fuck.

Thanksgiving 2021

I had a good turkey day. My mother made it and it came out awesome. I am so stuffed. My sister made cheesecake and it was very good next to the custard pie I had.

Yesterday I didn’t blog because I burned my hand when I made my lunch. I had made a pot pie and got burned while taking it out of the pan. I don’t even know what happened but hot boiling gravy got on my hand and I got a second degree burn. It was so painful. This morning I got two blisters on my hand. Luckily it is no longer painful. I just got to wait for the blisters to pop on their own.

I am so tired. I have been in a very tired state the past few days. I don’t want to do anything. I should shower but I have no energy for it. I also need to shave my head again. I told my pcp about the lost sleep and shoulder pain and they want me to get in touch with the shoulder surgeon. I had put in a request for my pain meds and I won’t have them until next week due to pharmacy being out of stock for one of them. I am going to have to ration my meds until I get the new refill as I have just 7 pills to last me until Monday. Hope I don’t get a flare of pain or I am screwed.

My bank doesn’t open until Monday due to the holiday so I can’t touch my account until then. Just really sucks. Tomorrow I need to go to the pharmacy to get my 3^rd shot of the vaccine. I have to remember to bring my card. I will be having it in my dominate arm because I can’t have it in my broken arm.

I think I am going to take a shower, shave, and then take my night meds and call it a day. If the shower exhausts me, I will just go to bed anyways.

Up very early

I woke up around 0130 and never went back to sleep till around 5ish. I slept for maybe an hour before I just decided to get up. I wanted coffee so I made some. Now I seem to have settled down so I might get a nap in. I took my morning meds. I am so tired. My arm is feeling sore but it is ok. It isn’t that bothersome like it was earlier this morning. I had taken my BT meds and it helped. I hope I get the refill on it soon as I am almost out.

I hate when I have an insomnia night. I just feel like crap. I am debating on whether to go back to bed or just stay up. I don’t have PT until 4pm, which is like eight hours from now. I don’t know what I am going to do with my time. Twitter is slow as people haven’t gotten up yet.

Today is one month till my birthday. I feel weird getting older. For a long time I often thought of ending my life on my birthday. But I never was really able to do it because it is so close to Christmas. Now I feel that is behind me and I am sort of looking forward to my birthday even though it will be a crummy day. Last year we didn’t celebrate my birthday because my mother was in the hospital. She still called me to wish me a happy birthday. But it wasn’t the same. We were going to celebrate my birthday when she came home but we never did. I kind of liked the not celebrating but I missed my mother being there for my day. I was really sad that she was alone in a hospital suffering from the effects of Covid. Thankfully she survived it and is much better now than she was a year ago.

Today is going to have to be a day where I put my bladder on a timer because the urge to pee is not present. I don’t remember the last time I went though. I think it was around 5 that I went. But I had coffee so I should go in an hour as the NP wants me to go 2 hours after I have coffee because it irritates the bladder. I keep trying to figure out if cathing is a disability or not. I know the reasons for the cath can be a disability but I don’t know if having to self-cath is or not. I meet with the NP in January. I had a meeting with her in Dec but it conflicted with my eye appointment so I canceled it.

I dragged my ass to PT. I didn’t want to go as I was so damn tired. I took a brief nap between 1 and 2. It was the rest I needed to get going. I had dry needling done at PT. OMG did it hurt but now my arm feels better and I hope that I won’t wake up in pain tonight. I need to continue to put heat on. She said my muscles have a lot of knots. I am not surprised and that is why I am hurting so much. She gave me a way to sleep that I am going to try tonight. I don’t know if it will work but I am willing to try anything at this point if I can sleep through the damn night.

I have so many pillows on my bed. One I sleep on and the others I just hold or have between my legs for back support. As I was laying down in PT, I almost fell asleep. I was so comfortable. I just had dinner of cereal. My sister brought home a little pumpkin cheesecake. It was very good and hit the spot. I just hope I don’t react with the ginger that is in it. I am allergic to ginger. I will be taking Benadryl tonight because I want to fucking sleep. I don’t know if that will keep the pain away but I got to take something to sleep. I reached out to my PCP about not sleeping and the nurse suggested I get in touch with the shoulder surgeon. If I don’t get any sleep tonight, I will call him tomorrow morning. Hopefully I will have someone as it is before the holiday.