Dysphoric today

I am feeling down. Chest feels heavy with the things on it. 8 days till they come off. I am so looking forward to it. I hate looking at them so much. I have thick chest hair so it really fucks with me.

I’ve been tired most of the day. I was up again last night. I didn’t take the trazodone because I didn’t think I would need it. I went to bed after 10pm. and was reading a wicked boring chapter on being vain in the Adler book. It was going around in circles, and when I saw there were 20 more pages, I just marked a paragraph and called it a night. I was getting tired anyways.

My mother was having a somewhat rough day. She has some pressure sores on her ankles. The nurse came today and said she needs to elevate them or they may burst. Something to keep an eye on.

I am having anxiety just looking at my schedule for the week. I still need to get the counter space for my needs so I am not reaching over my head while I am recovering from surgery. My sister bought food and froze it so now there is no room for my stuff. I am not happy about this. I wanted to buy some frozen dinners but now I can’t.

I guess I can plan on buying take out food. My niece has a place to order papusas. They are so frigging good. I just know I need to eat a lot of protein to help healing. I got chicken breast so that is good protein. I just don’t know what to make for my mother because her tastes have been disappearing and she doesn’t eat that much anymore. But she is still eating so that is a good thing.

any thoughts?

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