Friday October 13, 2023
Happy Oct 13th to all who celebrate. The only thing that has been spooky for me has been hungover all day. Last night we went to a Mexican restaurant and I had one margarita. It went to my head despite eating a lot of food. I woke up in the middle of the night to pee twice and had heartburn the whole time. I took my morning meds at 6 so I could take some Prevacid for my stomach. It helped.
I have been in a kind of weird space. Last night I was reading Thinking about Suicide and thought about writing a few pages about it as I have thought about it since I was eight years old. Mostly because I was not a boy. It was crushingly painful. I had some ideas about what to write but I didn’t write them down. Now I forgot.
Last night while I was eating my steak tacos, a piece of steak broke what remained of my broken tooth on the left side. Now the tooth next to it is broken and it is sharp. I called today to see if I can be seen to get evaluated but I need a dentist referral for it. I just hope I don’t cut my tongue on it.
I feel really shitty today. I had two cups of coffee and it did nothing for my hangover. I still need to brush my teeth and shave and I have no energy or motivation to actually do it yet. I will do it but I just am psyching myself up for it. It’s one of those days where self-care is taking the back seat. I put drops in my eyes because I think my dry eyes have returned. My left eye keeps tearing and feels like there is sandpaper in it. I wish I had an eye doctor that was closer than the one I have currently. I could go to the one in Boston but I hate that office.
I feel so tired and I have only been up for like 5 hours. I want to go back to sleep or at least lay down. I just had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich as I was too lazy to make a tuna sandwich. I might have it tomorrow. I haven’t eaten much but yet my stomach feels full. It has been really weird lately. Like I eat something and it feels full all the time. Yet when I eat, I feel ravenous. I still have to be careful with what I eat as something dry will get stuck in my throat. The tacos last night had wicked dry meat. It sucked. They had a few pieces of meat and a shit ton of lettuce and cheese. I still experimenting with this restaurant to see what I like. I order something new on the menu every time I have gone.
My foot is cold. I have tried to warm it up but it refuses. Damn CRPS. I shut the ceiling fan off because it is cool today. I can’t get my pain meds until tomorrow, hopefully. I hope they have it in stock. I called the pharmacy today and was told it should be ready by 6 so we’ll see. I have to pick up my T as well. If they are ready, I will probably go to Starbucks for a coffee. I bought Pike’s yesterday. I did a little grocery shopping. I bought eggs and more cream. I made a nice burrito. Someone ate all my tortillas I am not happy about this. My niece eats my sugar and my nephew eats my tortillas.
midnightdemons7 