feeling triggered

Feeling triggered

My sister just came home and started bitching. My groceries came today but I haven’t had the energy to bring up my bottles of Gatorade. Every time she bitches, I get fucking scared. It’s an automatic reaction. I texted my therapist to see if there was a time I could see her and she had a time in the morning.

We spent all session talking about triggers. I said it was like I was reading in my psych book about conditioned responses. Talking about this just increased my anxiety. Which lead to my Anthro project where I have to watch people for an hour to observe them. Crowds get me anxious so I don’t want to be near a lot of people. I have a working idea but I don’t know if it is going to happen. I want to do this outside but the weather in March can be cold.

After therapy, I was tired. I had been up since 5 as I woke up to pee and couldn’t get back to sleep. I had just one cup of coffee. I wasn’t really feeling well as this cough is just getting the better of me. I ended up going to the emergency room because I felt short of breath. They gave me what I had asked my pcp for but my cough was productive at the time. Now it is sort of dry and annoying. I had no pneumonia or bronchitis, which is good. They also did a viral panel which was negative.

Tomorrow I need to mail my ballot I’ve been neglecting the past few weeks. I meant to mail it today but I never got around to it. I skipped class again because I didn’t feel well. I need to work on this chapter tomorrow. Maybe I will bring my book with me to the square tomorrow and read while drinking a latte. I need to pick up my meds and the cough suppressant pills. I also need to wash my clothes. I noticed my hoodie I was wearing today had coffee on it. I hate washing clothes. I also need to shower as I stink again.