what a let down

What a let down

So in case you are just tuning in, Monday I saw a pain psychologist who determined that I was not an abuser or misuser of medication as well as had the inclination to sell my drugs. It went fairly well and when I had an appt today, I was hopeful that the doc would prescribe me a longer acting pain med to help control my pain better. What a dud, total fallout. I met with a fellow who had an attitude from the get go. He went over the paperwork and even though I wrote in plain English I had two back surgeries due to cauda equina syndrome at different times, he still questioned what I wrote. It went downhill from there. Then the attending came in, told me a story of a woman he saw that was on crutches because of an injury to her big toe. He claimed she had CRPS but there was no clear presentation of it. Then he said I was the same as I had no clear physical presentation of the condition. I felt like he didn’t believe I was in pain, at all. He saw me all of 5 mins and then decided to prescribe me an anti-inflammatory cream, telling me to wrap my ankle and foot in a plastic bag after applying it to prevent it from drying. End of appointment. See you in four weeks. Meanwhile his fucking fellow says “doesn’t want to start me on opioids because they are hard to come off when started.” I was furious. I posted to my support group and then emailed my psychiatrist that I was once again let down by the medical profession. I think I was on this cream before, I can’t remember. So many docs have prescribed me different creams I can’t remember what worked. The lidocaine has helped and I am at a loss as to why I can’t continue to use it. Whatever. I am going to request my records of the pain psychologist and the doc I saw today to see what they wrote. Then when I see them, I will confront them with any discrepancies.

Before the appt, as I was walking to the building I had to be at, my ankle flared on me. I limped to the office. It didn’t get any better on the way home. I wanted to make burgers for dinner so went to the butcher shop. I wanted some fish but it was too expensive. My mother thinks I am the eggman, as she keeps wanting me to buy eggs every time I am out. They were expensive at the butcher shop and I wasn’t about to walk around the grocery store across the street. I wanted to get home.

The bus took forever. There was a crowd of people and it was causing me to panic. I don’t do well with crowds. Finally the bus came and I was on my way. I got off at my stop and went to Walgreens to pick up my prescription. I was just about to the door when my ankle flared again. I stopped, hoping it would pass. I limped down to the pharmacy and luckily there was no line. I would have died. I was walking toward the exit and again my ankle seized, this time was the final blow. I called my sister to see if she could pick me up. I knew I wasn’t going to make it the two blocks home. I still had no clue how I was going to make the burgers. I told my sister the dilemma and she said she had pizza. Problem solved. Burgers tomorrow. I had two slices. My ankle was throbbing the whole time I was eating. Because I was left in the cold exam room without my socks on, my foot is a block of ice. Going to take some time to warm up. I am not going to put the new cream on as that will not be a good idea.

6 thoughts on “what a let down

  1. Well actually I can eat everything it’s just that somethings are higher in sins, the diet I’m on we call it sins when it’s bad food I have a list of foods and how much sins each one is worth, like for example there is this one chocolate I love called Maltesers I don’t know if you know of it but a fun size bag of Maltesers is worth five sins I’m allowed 20 per day


  2. hey. it sounds awful. those docs sound horrid. I am sorry they didn’t listen! I am glad you got home safely. And pizza sounds good, I cant have any since I am on a diet. Well I can, but I am choosing not to. xo


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