severe back pain sucks

Severe back pain sucks

I woke up early and decided to get some more sleep. I woke up a few hours later and then had coffee. I was feeling fine. The house was cold as the temp dropped. My mother wasn’t home. I had some biscuits with my coffee and while I was eating them, my mother’s phone rang. I went to go pick it up and my back went out on me. Just like that. No warning or anything. I couldn’t move. I sat back down as best as I could. I was having spasms in my lower back. I finished my coffee, threw away the wrapper for the biscuits as gently as I could as I could barely move. I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. I had to do it. It hurt and I was in pain for most of it. But going up the stairs was pure torture. I had to go one step at a time with leading on my right leg. I couldn’t tolerate any weight on my left side where most of the pain was. I didn’t know if this was going to settle down or not so I quickly took some meds and waited. I got my heating pad and that helped a lot. But within a half hour, I was still in a lot of pain so I rescheduled the CT scan I was supposed to have today.

I tried to lay down but that hurt more than sitting so I just sat with the heating pad on my back. A couple of hours later, I had to empty my bladder. I thought I was ok as I was moving better. I emptied my bladder and then went to the kitchen to make something to eat. I just made a bowl of cereal. As a poured the milk, I got severe spasms across my lower back again and I was hurting. I think I might have done something to my back when I fell. I just don’t know what to do about it. Right now getting the spasms under control is my top priority. I took some Zanaflex when I got back to my room and more pain meds as it was around 4 hours since my last dose.

I called the imaging scheduling office to schedule my MRI. They have an opening tomorrow night at 10 pm (2200!) I took it. The sooner I know what is wrong with my shoulder the better. I am so glad they had an opening. My back should be better by tomorrow. The heating pad is really helping with the spasms. I think the Zanaflex is making me sleepy. Four hours till game time so I could take a nap. I want to have another cup of coffee. I just don’t want to go downstairs again unless I have to use the bathroom.

My favorite pitcher is starting the game tonight. It is anyone’s guess as to how he will be. His last start was good so this start could be terrible. That is how things go with him. I don’t want to say anything because chances are the opposite will happen and then I will feel bad that I said something.

My shoulder has been hurting me most of the day. It woke me up several times during the night. I was lucky that I just had to move it around for the pain to go away. Pain was severe though. I hope the MRI report comes in later this week before I see the surgeon. This will give me some time to research the findings and see what needs to be done, including nothing. I’ll be interested to see if the fracture is healing when they do the x-ray next week.

I am going to try and lay down and see if I can sleep until the game starts. Hopefully moving won’t hurt me.

another painful depressing day

Another painful depressing day

I was in a lot of pain today with my shoulder. I didn’t want to do anything and so didn’t. I slept until around 11 and had coffee. I didn’t have anything to eat until a couple of hours later. The ortho department called me with an appointment so I have that at the end of the month. I also called my pcp office to see if I could increase my pain meds as I have so much pain. I haven’t heard back.

I had my dinner of Oreo cookies. I didn’t want anything else. I needed to shower and shave today but never got around to do it. I’ve been depressed most of the day. I wanted to go pick up my meds at the pharmacy. It was such a nice day today but I never left the house. Pain was a huge factor in keeping me in. I seriously gave some thought to suicide today but didn’t dwell on it.

My therapist got back to me this morning. I had to reschedule our appointment for next week as I have the CT scan a little close to our time. I am glad she got back to me. I let most of my friends know about my fractured shoulder. I just looked up the doctor I will be seeing. The bright side is he is chief of the department. Downside is he specializes in leg injuries. I don’t want the run around while I am in pain. I dealt with that while trying to find a diagnosis for my CRPS ankle and I won’t do that for my shoulder ever again. I don’t want something like CRPS to go to my shoulder. But I don’t know how common these ortho terms are and if seeing the chief will be a good idea. He would know who specializes in shoulders in his dept so I could get referred to that doctor. I know that I will need an MRI as I don’t think the CT scan is going to show the depth of the labrum. I could have a tear there that is causing me this pain. But without knowing what is causing the dislocation, I am stumped.

In the meantime I just hope to have adequate pain control. Hope my pcp gets back to me tomorrow.

broken shoulder and other things

Broken shoulder and other things

My pcp got back to me late yesterday afternoon and scheduled me for an urgent care visit. I went this morning, which I didn’t want to get out of bed for. I am glad I went and had an x-ray because my shoulder has a fracture in it caused by a dislocation. The results said that it was prior but I don’t recall ever dislocating my shoulder before. I need to have an MRI done but there is a significant wait so I will be having a CT scan done on Monday, which means I need to reschedule my therapy appointment. I also need to see a shoulder specialist.

After the appointment, I was hungry and thirsty. I didn’t have anything to eat or drink when I got up because I got up really late and I had to catch the bus if I was to be at my appointment on time. I went to CVS and got a smoothie. I then went to the Square to go to Starbucks to grab a mocha and a sandwich before catching the bus home. I had to pick up my meds at the pharmacy so I went there before stopping home. I got out of breath when I got home. Stupid hill still makes me short of breath. I had to sit on my porch for a bit before going up the stairs. I was in a lot of pain when I got home from the exam and not taking any pain meds. I should have taken some with me but I didn’t think.

I am quite tired. Yesterday I woke up at 2 am and didn’t go to sleep again till around 2200 or so. It was a long day. I couldn’t think to write a blog so I just posted a pic of a puppy that I thought was cute. I had therapy yesterday. It went well. She was calling me out on shit and I was at one point like, is this Will Hunting?? She wanted me to take care of myself rather than rely on others for care as I’ve been neglected and abused for most of my childhood. I understood where she was coming from but it didn’t feel good to know that I had to do the caring from now on. That doesn’t sit well with me. I do take care of myself in other ways.

While I was at the urgent care, they took my blood pressure and my diastolic was high. I just took my blood pressure at home to see what it is and it is still high. Fuck. I might have to go back on the labetalol. I had stopped taking it because I didn’t think I needed it. My blood pressure has been good until now. Now I got to monitor it to make sure the high readings don’t continue. I am in a lot of pain so that maybe why my pressure is up. I haven’t given myself the T shot yet today that I am due for. I wanted to write for a bit before doing it. I am so tired. I plan on going to bed early tonight because starting Friday, my nights are going to be busy watching baseball and I need to be up to listen to the plays. Just hope I am wrong about them having days off and then playing. We need to win four games and it isn’t going to be easy with the Astros.

shoulder pain is unreal today

Shoulder pain unreal today

I woke up with severe shoulder pain a few times during the night. I had slept for about three hours and then I couldn’t go back to sleep so I colored for a bit until meds took care of my pain enough so I could go back to sleep. I slept late again. My cousin called me around noon to say he couldn’t take me shopping because someone hit his car and he needs to get it fixed. He will take me next week when he has a rental. I said no problem. When I got up, my shoulder pain was bad. I went about my business and my bowels unleashed. I crapped my pants and shit was everywhere. I cleaned up and then went to have coffee and something to eat. There was still the apple crumble my sister made so I had some of that. It was so good. My mother came into the kitchen and I swear I wondered how many “oh my god”s she says during the day as in the first 10 mins she had said at least four.

I have been listening to all my songs on my MP3 player. It started with “Jesse’s Girl” by Rick Springfield. Half way through a few more songs Beethoven played a piano sonata which was followed by Linkin Park. Shows my music range. I can go from classical to alternative rock. Love it.

Today is Marathon Monday which should be over by the time the Sox take the field tonight. Yesterday game was such a heartbreaker. It was so long (13 innings!) and the game just seemed like it was never going to end. The Sox were behind then were ahead then tied. Finally in the bottom of the 13th inning my favorite catcher hit a bomb to left center and we won 6-4. Tonight’s game is a win or go home game for the Rays. My favorite pitcher is on the mound. My cousin doesn’t think he will be effective tonight and granted his last couple of starts have not been good. But I believe in him and his ability to be a great pitcher.

I have been up for 3.5 hours and I want to go back to bed. I am so damn tired. I had a second cup of coffee to try and stay awake. I know if I try and take a nap I won’t be up for the game. It is the kind of tired where I don’t care if I sleep forever kind of feeling. I am in pain so I got the fuck its. My leg is acting up right now. UGH. I never get away from pain. I thought I would have to put a lido patch on my leg because sitting for 5+ hours for the game was annoying my thigh. Nerve pain kept flaring up. I am kind of worried as this week is T shot week and I need to give it to my left thigh which is the one with nerve pain. Depending on how it feels between today and tomorrow I will decide to give it. I wish I had a nurse friend that could give it to me in the butt. I do have one friend but she is on the Cape. Kind of far from me.

I am feeling so overwhelmed right now because pain has gone up three notches with the CRPS pain and nerve pain in my leg, which I am starting to think is CRPS related. I took an Ativan because of the internal agitation I am feeling, the desperation that I feel when pain is like this. I can’t take another pain med for another hour. I texted my therapist that I hate taking the Ativan because of this overwhelm. I just feel trapped, like I can’t escape. It isn’t a good feeling. But I know when I get this squirrel feeling Ativan helps. It helps to clear my thoughts and settle me down. My mother just called to say dinner is ready. I don’t want to move. Leg is at an all time high level of pain. Left arm is throbbing. The muscles in my arm are spazzing. I hope my PCP can order an X-ray tomorrow to make sure I didn’t hurt myself when I fell. Then if he does and I am ok, I want to do the dry needling again with PT. I just hope I am up early so I can talk to someone. If they want me to be seen, I need to know so I can plan on going to Urgent care, if he can’t see me. My pcp is only there one day a week and he is usually booked. I have an appointment with him in Nov. That is too long to wait to be seen. I am so nervous about all of this. I am hoping what I did was just muscle related but I also hope I didn’t cause a tear in the muscle either. Sixteen hours and I hope to have my answers.