Saturday Blog 06112021

Saturday Blog 06112021

Today I am dealing with an influx of junk mail being filtered to my inbox rather than junk mail folder. I must have gotten at least a half dozen notifications today so far that are junk. I don’t know what is the problem. I sent a message to outlook hoping to find a reason. It’s jut ridiculous. The emails are all bogus. But I think I got a handle on it as most of the emails are from the same domain.

I sort of woke up when my med alarm went off at 0830. I made the mistake of falling back to sleep and now I feel like all I want to do is sleep. I only woke up once during the night and that was to go pee. I hope when I go for my test next week that it records the urge sensation when I am cathing. It is so uncomfortable to be going about my business cathing and then get an uncontrollable urge to pee. Sometimes my stream becomes stronger and then urine goes everywhere. It is messy and I hate it.

I had a cup of coffee and I might have a second cup soon as I am so fricken tired. I think I am going to heat up the chicken pot pie that I have for lunch. I haven’t really eaten anything today. My mother made zucchini and had a little of that but it was wicked salty.

Ohio State and Nebraska are playing each other in college football. Every year they play each other and every year I am conflicted who to root for because they are my favorite teams. OSU is beating the Huskers right now. I think OSU is going to beat them, again. Nebraska has been holding up some good defense though. It is a close game right now. And OSU wins 26-17!

My damn shoulder is killing me today. I put heat on my ribs as the muscles are sore. My bicep keeps throbbing along with my wrist/forearm. I can’t wait till I see the doc on Monday and they decide what they are going to do. I hope I can delay PT for a few weeks until I get my back PT in. I don’t think I need the full six weeks as usually one to three dry needle sessions is all I need. I start PT on Tues. It is with the same PT that I had earlier this year. She is good and I like her style.

OSU vs TTUN and other things

OSU vs TTUN and other things

I woke up really early, like 4. I wanted bacon but my mother was sleeping and I knew she wouldn’t like me leaving her a dirty pan on the stove when she got up. So I ordered McD’s. I have been wanting their sausage burrito for a while. I was disappointed I didn’t get the hashbrowns with my order. I made coffee afterwards, thinking I was going to be up for most of the day. Yeah, right. I brought up the coffee and drank it all while reading Coraline. I must have read like 3 pages and then sleepiness took over. So much for a caffeine kick! I set my alarm as I did not want to miss the OSU game at noon. I then slept until it went off.

I got up and the house smelled of bacon! My mother made some and left me a few pieces. Score for my bacon fix! I ate it while watching some stupid Fox analyst panel debate the game as to who was going to win, why, how, blah blah blah. Then the game started and the announcers were pro Xichigan (Michigan to my non-Buckeye fans). I had no say in the network (who does), but I ignored them the best I could. I had tweeted my therapist friend that I would be watching the game. The only time I messed up tweeting was when I thought we scored a field goal and we didn’t. Damn announcers were wrong! I ended up deleting the tweet.

It was a good game. I was sad when their starting quarterback got hurt. I later found out some camera man ran into him prior to the play. The head coach was going to find out who he was because there were a few people that said it was intentional. I don’t know if that is true but I don’t like when my QB gets hurt either. He is an awesome player and has done well with OSU. I’d really hate for a knee injury to end his senior year and potential NFL career because someone hated that we were kicking Xichigan’s ass after halftime. The backup quarterback did well and OSU won 31-20.

My therapist friend loved “watching” my tweets during the game. I laughed and told him he should watch me when I watch a baseball game. HA HA, pitch by pitch and play by play. I have entertained one of my dearest friends that I have known for almost 17 years now. It’s mostly swears, so it is very colorful analysis more than what is going on. LOL I really was surprised I was able to watch the entire game without too much pain. Today has to be the first time all week when I could actually use my ankle the way it is intended. It is a little sore now but I’ve kept up with my pain meds so I don’t think I will be up all night again. Least I hope I won’t.

I have been sneezing like crazy all day. Probably because I got the window open and it was a little warm today so pollen might have come in. I was just scrolling through twitter and one person I follow (who does Pokemon Go) tweeted that she screamed in a restaurant she was at “there is an onion bird in here” follow by pic of onion bird. OMG I am laughing so hard, I am crying. I’ve included the pic (where on closer inspection is a bird with a leek or a scallion in its wing). Hope you get a laugh out of it like I have. I might have to go through the tissue box as I am still cry laughing. LOL

Saturday blog Nov 4, 2017

I was having a fairly good morning until my pain hit. I went to nap and my big toe exploded in pain. It really caused my mood to plummet. After lunch, I took another nap. The evening shift nurse woke me from my rest to discuss my pain. I felt like she didn’t believe me. I’m so tired of having to explain my pain to every staff member on the different shifts. It’s like, don’t you read my records?

After I had dinner, I was getting sleepy again so I made a cup of tea. It was the last tea bag I had that was caffeinated. I didn’t think to pack more as I was running low my last admission. Oh well. Guess Lipton will have to do. I’m trying to get my cousin to visit to bring me some chocolate. If she does come, I’ll ask her for some tea as well.

My check in person is cool and my favorite mental health counselor is on this weekend. I really enjoy talking to her. She bought my 1st book. I tried to send her my 2nd but they had a nursing change and decided it wasn’t good to have patients give gifts to staff.

My mood sucks and I just want to die. I just feel so hopeless that things are going to get better. Just got to take it day by day. My pain isn’t so bad right now and I hope it stays that way. Last night it flared and I didn’t do so well. The staff didn’t know what to do for me. My idiot contact person jokingly said I should swift kick a wall. Yeah, that will help. I’m just frustrated with being here. Maybe Monday I can have a discharge date set up.

I talked with my mother and she asked why I went here rather than where my psych is. So in bad to go through it once again. I didn’t choose to be here. Hell, I didn’t want this admission to begin with but it was either go voluntary or be committed. So I’m just going to bide my time until I can leave.

There was only one group today. I think there is one tomorrow, too. I don’t remember. I was kind of sick this morning. I think the Zoloft is causing nausea. When I brought it up to the covering doc, he said to eat carbs. I told him I had 2 bagels for breakfast before my meds. Idiot. I’m not going to take it tomorrow and see how I do. My time on it might have run out. Another antidepressant bites the dust.

Watching some of the OSU game. They got killed by Iowa. So disappointing. The guy that served the meals is a buckeye fan. He said they weren’t on TV but I found the channel. I was getting impatient waiting for updates with the app and wanted to watch the game.

cold and shitty weather

Cold and shitty weather

It’s raining today. I am glad because the weatherman said we were supposed to get snow. I am feeling like crap. I slept for most of the day, until I had a bad dream and then my sister fake called me. The phone rang. I picked up but no one was there. It’s only day 1 of this stupid cold and I hate it already. I want it to go away, now. My nose won’t stop running or being stuffy. There is no in between.

I was supposed to call my psychiatrist today but decided not to because I am feeling crappy. I sent her the blog I wrote yesterday about Thanksgiving. I said I was going to anyways. If I felt better, I would go to the pharmacy to pick up my scripts. But it’s kind of nasty out so forget it.

I got a text giving me a window for my grocery delivery. It’s coming late. All I want to do is sleep. I don’t even want to put away the damn groceries. I have no fucking energy. Just thinking about it makes me want to hide under the covers. All I had to eat today was pudding pie. I think that is going to be my dinner as well. I really don’t want real food, though I might make some soup later.

I don’t know where I picked up this stupid cold. Only person that has been sick near me is my crazy aunt. I saw her two weeks ago for my sister’s birthday party. She wasn’t feeling good then. Damn bitch. She should have stayed home.

After I made a cup of tea and had my pie, I went up to my room. I started playing on my laptop and then my foot exploded. Fuck. Seriously? I haven’t done a damn thing all day. I took one pain pill because I didn’t want to be drugged when my grocery comes. It would be very bad if I slept through the text saying they were here. I hope the rain stops by then. I bought some ground beef so I can make a shepard’s pie this weekend. I haven’t made it in so long. I usually end up eating the whole thing by myself over the course of a couple days. My mother doesn’t like it. My niece might have some as she likes it.

If I feel up to it tomorrow, I will page my psych. I really just want to touch base with her. I see her next week, least I hope to. I just hope this cold doesn’t get worse or my throat gets affected. It really sucks when you live with a deaf person and you have a sore throat. The last time I was sick with a sore throat I ended up with laryngitis because I was yelling for her to hear me. And she wouldn’t fucking take me writing on shit. She wanted to test my vocals. Bitch.

Monday I have the appointment with my repro endo doc at the fucking crack of dawn (0830). I will have to leave my house at 0700 so I can get my coffee and possibly write, though I doubt it. I am not a morning person so I will probably just have my coffee and breakfast. I will bring my bag with me just in case I want to write after the appointment. I hope this dumb cold is gone by then, but probably not. If I don’t write, I will just come home and sleep. I just hope I don’t have Painsomnia the night before. That will suck.

Nebraska is playing Iowa right now. If I felt up to it, I would be watching the game. It’s kind of weird they are playing on a Friday. Tomorrow, OSU plays Michigan, a rival team. I found one of my Twitter buddies love OSU and I am happy about that. Now we can talk football in addition to our chronic pain. Through one of my other Twitter buddies, I found a chronic pain/illness support chat. I never seem to catch it when it starts. I will have to ask my OSU Twitter friend when it is so I can participate more. It would be nice to build a support group.