I woke up at 2am sneezing my head off and couldn’t get back to sleep until after 6am. I slept for about an hour and woke up.from a weird dream that gave me a headache. I had my coffee and then another one with something to eat. Then I got my laptop and for four hours I listened to lectures. I couldn’t take the voice of my anthro professor anymore so closed the lid. I was tired and the headache was worse. I tried napping and brain just wouldn’t cooperate. I sneezed some more. Pollen is at a 7 today. I hate spring. The temp has dropped and my room is cold. Supposed to rain the next few days. It was sunny out this morning but now it’s cloudy.
I had therapy yesterday. We talked about my mother and grief. She wants me to write a free association paper on my sadness. I started it and then stopped. I forgot about it until I logged back on the laptop.
I am wicked tired. I wanted to go to an FTM meeting but I got aggravated on Bluesky from the stupid GOP in North Dakota. They want to allow transgenders to become comfortable in their biological self. Such bullshit. Then one guy wanted us on a firing squad and that’s when I got off. I was fuming. Just made me so angry.
The former president of the Sox passed away today. I cried when I read the statement from the family. I really liked this guy as helped win our 1st World Series in 86 years. Baseball will always make me cry. I don’t know why. When I was watching the 2007 World Series DVD, all I did was sob all the way through it. I should watch it as I need a good cry.
My mother’s anniversary is in two days. I’m just so sad. And for some reason I’ve been having a lot of nerve pain in my chest. I don’t know how much is physical or emotional. I just have this heaviness past few days. I don’t think it’s cardiac. I have no other symptoms and my blood pressure has been good. The discomfort is right above my scars. I hope I sleep tonight. I’m so fricken tired.
midnightdemons7 