was in my happy place today

Was in my happy place today

I had my intake and they deadnamed me. I purposely sat there until they sorted out my right name and then the person apologized a few times. They need to update the damn system. The appointment went well. I went back to my hometown and was sad that so much has changed. Even the train station I got off at was HUGE compared to what I remember. The bus stop had changed place. There used to be multiple births but now there was just one central one for all the buses. I had just missed the one that would have been close to where I was going but it was ok. I walked like half a block. I did a LOT of walking today and my legs and sprained foot feel it.

I woke up before dawn. I tried to go back to sleep but just couldn’t. I was anxious that I wouldn’t get up when I needed to. I had my first cup of coffee around 0630. My bitchy sister told me the dishwasher had to be emptied. I don’t care. I am so tired. After my appointment, I went to the beach. I watched waves and the airplanes taking off. I forgot how much vibration the engines give off. I spent like a half hour just soaking in the place. It was so nice. I wish there was a place to sit as I would have stayed there all day. It was windy but nice. I miss smelling the salty air every morning.

On the way home, I stopped at the grocery store to pick up some turkey and half and half. I asked my sister to pick me up as I knew walking back to the bus stop was going to be hard. I was getting winded and fatigue was starting to set in. I came home and make a turkey sandwich. I will make the burgers tonight for dinner. I rested and made another cup of coffee. I didn’t drink anything while I was out and was wicked thirsty. I had bought a vitamin water, which I noticed the price had doubled what it was a few years ago. They were having a “sale” but you had to spend like $5 in order to get 1 free. Screw that. I’ll just take my one bottle, thank you. When I finished eating, I noticed how fatigued my legs were. Going up the stairs was torture and of course soon as I was in my room, my bladder decided it needed to be emptied. Ugh.

I am debating on taking a nap or just staying up and going to bed early. The game is on at 1900 and the Celtics are playing game 5 in the finals. They are home, Sox are in Toronto. Allergies seem to be better today. It is hot though, in the 80s but no humidity, thankfully. The intake person told me it could be up to two months before I get an appointment with a therapist. Ugh. I knew there would be a wait. The good news is that they have prescribers now that are more accessible than they were before. I was thinking of changing my care to them and I might. I don’t like the two month time between my appointments with my psychiatrist. It just seems like too long.