Grumpy day
I woke up in a grumpy mood. I woke up later than I wanted to. By that time, there were some storms in the area and I didn’t want to leave the house. I will try tomorrow to get my meds and return my book. I feel so depressed and miserable. Nothing has really happened but I just feel out of sorts.
My book is getting some attention. I reached out to the local library and they are looking into having an event and ordering my book. I also sent a message to my hometown library asking if I could have an event there. I haven’t heard back yet.
I got a thing from UMB saying the bills will be rolling out soon. I still haven’t received a financial aid package yet. I am waiting to see if I get one. They forwarded my email to another person in the department.
Today I was supposed to meet up with a friend but she canceled on me. I think we will be going out on Wed night. I will be in Boston so we can go to my favorite Thai food place. Her birthday is today and I wished her a happy birthday. I think her son will be joining us for dinner. I haven’t seen him in more than a year. I miss hanging out with her but she lives south of Boston so it is hard to have a get together.
I reached out to my pcp about my mood. I haven’t heard back yet. I think I might have another UTI as I have had frequent urination today and pain when peeing. I also have leaked a few times. I need to shower but I don’t have the damn energy. I just want to lay down and don’t do anything. I am in such a bad mood. I think I am going to have Ben and Jerry’s for supper again. I think I will have Cherry Garcia. I will save my brownie chocolate batter for when I really need chocolate. It is hot in the house so I can’t stay in the kitchen long. I had oatmeal for lunch. It was good until I got a nut stuck in my tooth. I managed to brush it out while I brushed my teeth. I didn’t brush my teeth yesterday because the bathroom was in disarray most of the day. It’s finally back together again.
I can’t believe it’s July 1st already. I know I said I would start Principles of Psychology but I am not in a reading mood right now. I just want to fucking sleep. I feel so damn miserable. I miss my mother. I hate that she isn’t here. Fuck. I hate not having a therapist. It keeps me grounded and right now I feel like I am just winging things. I am trying to avoid going to psych emergency, either in the hospital or at the community center. They have walk-in services but I don’t really know what I am doing other than reaching out. I feel fearful most of the time that I am going to end up back in the hospital. I hope it doesn’t happen.
midnightdemons7 