Some good news, sort of
I haven’t been sleeping well because my damn toothache has been keeping me up most of the night. I saw the dentist this afternoon and he was so nice and explained everything. He said that the baby teeth I have and the one on the left next to it needs to be extracted. The rest are just fillings. I don’t need a damn root canal like the other place said I did. I don’t know how much the extractions are going to cost as he referred me to a dentist outside of the office that kind of knocks you out, which is what I want. I got to call on Monday to find out the cost and see when I can get it done.
I didn’t have coffee this morning because I didn’t want to be in pain. I had a cold brew at Starbucks after my appointment and something to eat which set off the pain again. The dentist said to try and eat more on the left side than right as I have an exposed nerve that is causing the problem. It is all referred pain as there is nothing wrong with the top teeth. It is all coming from the bottom. I went to the butcher’s shop to pick up some burgers so I can have something decent to eat. I am kind of tired so I don’t know if I will make them tonight or not.
Mood wise, I feel really sad. I had a dream about my mother last night. I was kind of catastrophizing in the dream and I just wanted her to sit by me. She was in the other room watching TV. I miss her so much. There was some kind of safety knowing she was home and now that she isn’t here anymore, it is a little unsettling. I keep on feeling ok to being sad and depressed. I am not suicidal, which to me is really weird. I have fleeting thoughts of not wanting to be around anymore but they don’t go anywhere. They don’t hang around like they used to.
I am tired. Not sleeping at night is making the day time hours so horrible and because I can’t drink coffee like I used to, it sucks. The dentist put me on some antibiotics so I hope that helps. I managed to shower today and trim my beard some. I still need to shave my head. I don’t know if I will do it today. I don’t know what my problem is lately as all I want to do is lay down. I don’t want to do anything. I hardly leave the house for anything. My blood counts are good so it isn’t anemia. I know I don’t feel well the past few days but damn. I don’t get up in the morning anymore. I get up past 12 and if I don’t have a plan for the day, I am in bed, only leaving to use the bathroom and eat something. I have no energy. I really have to push through to get things done. I need to change my sheets sometime next week or maybe this weekend. I don’t know. My bed is a mess. I don’t really care either. Depression is bad.
midnightdemons7 