tolerate it

Tolerate it

I woke up in the middle of the night to pee but I was stubborn about it. I held it for a couple of hours and then decided to empty. It was like 5am. I just didn’t want to get up. Then my alarm went off as I tried going back to sleep, which took forever. I should have stayed up. I will never learn. It was so hard getting up. I had one cup of coffee and I drank it slow. I left early as I wanted to have breakfast at Starbucks.

I went to Starbucks and I don’t know if I lost my earbuds case there or before, but by the time I got to campus it was lost. I feel like an idiot because I didn’t make sure I had it secured in my bag. I shouldn’t have doubled it up with my glasses case. I posted to the FB group hoping if someone found it they will contact me.

I feel so tired. We were assigned groups for the presentation for class today. I have no idea what we are going to pick as a topic. We need to present a video to middle schoolers on a brain topic that is about 10 mins long. I hate group projects.

My pcp didn’t get back to me today about my blood work results. I hope tomorrow she will. My T level did drop. I don’t know if that means anything though. I will find out soon enough. I just hope I don’t have to take the shot every week. I know she talked about this on one of our appointments. It would be too much for me to give myself the shot every week. I have a hard time giving it every two weeks. The excitement of giving it has worn off and it is just a chore just like taking my meds.

I am feeling really depressed today. It took a lot to get to class today. I didn’t want to go. I felt better after I had something to eat but it didn’t last. I felt despondent during class. It was hard to focus. I was just overwhelmed with the group project thing. This weekend I got to read two chapters. I don’t know if we need to do a discussion thing. This class is going to be more involved than I anticipated. My mood sucks this time of year. I am still battling headaches every day that give me brain fog. I just feel so down. I don’t want to do anything and I need to change my sheets and shower sometime this weekend. I also need to talk to my sister about getting my suit for my niece’s wedding. I don’t know how I am going to afford it. I am just so damn broke. I am getting my annual vaccines for flu and covid tomorrow and I hope they don’t cost me anything. It’s only 630pm right now. If I got to bed now, I will be up around 2 and that will screw up my sleep. I hate this fucking tired feeling. My ankle is flared up. I just want to scream.