Saturday Blog 23112024

Saturday Blog 23112024

I had bad dreams all night and kept waking up to pee. I woke up around 6 and took my meds. I shut off my med alarm. I slept most of the morning. My sister was doing god knows what. She was being loud and yelling for her daughter all morning. I got up around 1pm. I ordered Starbucks. The house was a complete mess with bags everywhere. I have no idea what they were for. They looked like they were filled with clothes. My sister was doing something in the kitchen. The table was completely covered with shit. So were the counters. I have no idea where my Keurig machine was, it was no longer on the counter and my sister kept asking me if I scaled it. I told her that wasn’t the problem. I just wanted to do school work and be left alone. I got a text from my niece that she was here. I went downstairs. Then my sister there started after me about recycling and other things. I was like WTF. Just leave me the fuck alone. My other sister makes her own mess and wants everything to be perfect when she comes home from work, which isn’t going to happen all the time. I didn’t say shit except I do what I can and left it at that.

I got a message the other day from a woman on FB marketplace that wanted to buy some mugs I had posted. I forgot that we were meeting today. She sent me a message an hour before we were supposed to meet so I went upstairs and got dressed. The wind made things wicked cold. She was late but we met and I got ten bucks off the deal. I then went home and decided to take the new T home. I walked down the street. By halfway down, I was out of breath. I kept pushing and by the time I got home and up to my room, I was kind of wheezing and coughing. I think it was because it was cold out. It took forever to calm down.

I got a headache I’ve been dealing with all day. I think this is day 9. I am miserable. I can’t start the Depakote until Monday. I hope I don’t have this headache all weekend. I might though. I still need to do some school work. I have been procrastinating all day. I think I am just going to work on the worksheet. That should take me an hour or so to do.

I feel so depressed. I was glad I got out of the house because I really haven’t left the house since Tues. I just want to stay in bed lately and do nothing. These headaches haven’t been helping with the feelings. It is so hard to get out of bed. I feel like total crap. My anxiety has been through the roof the past few weeks. There has been so much that I am trying to control. I have been pushing myself through things, especially with these headaches. Otherwise, nothing will get done.