I wonder if I ever cross your mind

I wonder if I ever cross your mind

I woke up to pee before my alarms went off. I took my meds and then had some coffee. Then I brushed my teeth and checked the bus schedule. I had some time before I had to leave the house. I was kind of nervous. It was wicked cold this morning so I debated wearing layers. In the end, I decided just to wear my plaid shirt and my jacket and I am glad because by the time I walked to the bus stop, I was sweating.

I got to my hometown in like half an hour. I waited for the bus. I was still early. Around ten, the therapist called my name. She was young. We went to her office. We talked and went over things. I basically told her that after my top surgery and my mother’s death, I just shut down. I don’t feel anything. The only time I feel anything is if it is in extremes and even then, it is briefly. I am glad I discovered this. I don’t really know what to do about it. Maybe in time I can feel again. I see her next week.

I went home after. I got a headache when I came home. I had something to eat. I was really hungry. I remembered to take out the ground beef for the Manwich. I will make it tomorrow after class. I tried taking notes and my brain freaked out. There is a handout on learning and memory which is a review for me as I took it last semester. But I can’t do anything with this damn headache right now. I have been trying to think of something for this paper but I got nothing. It feels like someone is hitting me in the back of my head right now so it is hard to concentrate. I just got an email from the psych department for course evaluation. I won’t fill it out today. I really like this professor. The only complaint I have is she can be a little ADHD in class. She is better in zoom than she is in person. She has made it fun learning but her exams suck. I really don’t feel like I have learned anything when it comes to the exams. I feel dumb.

I meet with my psychiatrist tomorrow. I have a busy week. I have to remember to put some money on my Tpass tomorrow. I also got to put funds on my Starbucks account. I wish my hometown had a Starbucks. They do, but it’s not near where my therapist is. It’s on the other side of town, almost on the edge of another city. Least it was. I don’t know if it still is. I haven’t been on that end of the highway in a long time. I went by my elementary school today and there was construction. I don’t know what they are doing to it. I asked the community page if anyone knew. The firehouse is still there. I love my hometown so much. I am glad to be there, even if it is once a week.