Depressed and not caring
I didn’t want to get up today but my bladder made me. I couldn’t go back to sleep so I got up. I took my meds and then made coffee. I had three cups and some leftover ham from Christmas. I need a shower but can’t bring myself to take one. I just want to sleep or lay down. I am sort of suicidal. I am just hopeless that this depression is ever going to leave me.
I didn’t do anything today and I don’t care. I had oatmeal for dinner because I didn’t know what else to have. I never went out and I am out of Nyquil and Benadryl. I feel like reading a suicide book. It’s been so long and writing that paper has really left a gap in my reading. I need something academic.
I have been listening to Taylor. She is the only person I want to hear right now. I was listening to my other country artists but went to Taylor after a friend sent me a card about all too well. I have been listening to the “Taylor’s version” of her music. Maybe tomorrow I will shower if my mood is better.
midnightdemons7 