still struggling

Still struggling

I am still struggling with ADLs. I feel so down. I realized that since my birthday, I have only had one shower. It’s just so hard. Today I wanted to do it. I needed to groom as well. I hate when my hair downstairs is long as it just smells after a while which doesn’t help my shower issues. I managed to do this and brush my teeth. I was exhausted and out of breath.

I was having a hard time sleeping. I kept waking up from dreaming every few hours and then would have a hard time going back to sleep. I woke up around midnight and was able to get back to sleep. I slept really well so when I woke up I thought it was close to 5 or 6 and it was 230. I was pissed. I woke up from a weird dream. I dreamt about my mother a few times. I was supposed to see my friend but every time I woke up, I had a screaming headache. I have no idea what happened to my bottle of ibuprofen. It fell and rolled under my bed.

I texted my DMH worker but she hasn’t responded. I haven’t eaten anything all day. I think I am going to make the dino nuggets I bought the other day with some tater tots. I am not really hungry though. I had two cups of coffee. My headache is still there. I am glad the sun has gone down. It was wicked bright today which didn’t help my head. I think my vision has changed as I keep having to adjust my head to see things on my laptop. The middle part of my glasses is blurred, which is supposed to be for the computer. I hope there isn’t a lot of PDFs for me to read next semester. This semester hurt my head adjusting it so often and made me tired. Semester starts the last week in Jan. I see the sleep specialist this month. It’s at 8am. It’s on zoom so I don’t have to leave the house. Thank god because the office is on the opposite side of the hospital. I would need many breaks to walk through the hospital to get there. I also see my pcp and psychiatrist the same week.

I am glad I am seeing a therapist finally but I keep dumping on her. Basically been telling her all the details from 2022 till today. She is better than my other therapist that just wanted to problem solve every single session. She acknowledges my struggles and validates me, something the other therapist never did. I see her Mon. I am going to get rice balls again. They are so good. They also have like a chicken pot pie dish that I have been meaning to try. Their food is so good. And I am going to get their Nutella biscuits.