Therapy Friday 25072025
I didn’t sleep again last night and my delivery stayed an hour outside in the heat because I didn’t look at my text messages. It was going off and I was just like shut up. I wanted to sleep. When I woke up I realized it could have been the delivery and it was and I quickly took my meds and went downstairs to put stuff away. My ice cream was really soft. I was so mad at myself.
I had a cup of coffee and played with the puppy before therapy. I wanted to shower but it wasn’t happening. The house was a million degrees and I couldn’t tolerate it. I wanted to be with the puppy so she wasn’t alone but her room didn’t have the AC on and she doesn’t like cold.
Therapy went ok. I didn’t talk to her about anything I wanted to talk to her about regarding my suicidality. She brought it up but we didn’t delve into it. I brought up my body image issues so we discussed that. Before we ended, she gave me some questions to think about for next week. I just went over them and it is thought provoking. It is something I will have to sit and think about. I know part of the reason I have issues is because my father harped on my weight by calling me fat and ugly for years. My therapist called them opinion distortions or something along those lines. They aren’t facts.
Next week I will find out about the weight loss drug approval or not. I saw one report that in eight months, you can lose sixty pounds. That would be my goal. I want to be around 160 but Ideally would love to be 140. But I want to lose slow enough that I don’t have skin hanging off me.
I am wicked tired. I spent so much time in the heat and it just exhausted me. I didn’t shower like I wanted to today. I didn’t even brush my teeth. Try again tomorrow. There was a meme that I will share in this post about courage and trying again tomorrow. I found it meaningful and spot on for me. I don’t know if I will shave my head tomorrow. It is getting a bit long for a razor. I will try it but I might have to let it grow and then buzz it to start over.
midnightdemons7 