I wish it would soon be over, but alas…

I wish it would soon be over, but alas…

I don’t know if the research still supports this but according to the book I am reading about suicide, a recovery from a depressive episode can take at least eleven months. My depressions have lasted so long I don’t even know how long anymore.

I have been in a dreary mood all day. I wanted to clean one area of my room and I still might do it. I also have a stomachache. I ate some hot wings and I don’t think it is agreeing with me. I have been up since 3 even though I slept for a few hours between 7 and 11. I slept for about six hours and then it was like ok I am up. I think I went to bed too early. I will try and go to bed later and see if that helps. Problem is I could get overtired before it is late enough to sleep. Then I won’t sleep at all. It is so damn tricky.

I haven’t watch the Taylor docuseries. Today is episode 5 and 6. I just am not really interested. Depression is making it hard to do things I am interested in. I will be glad to see my therapist on Mon. I need to get some contact details from her should I need to cancel our appt. I have to give at least 24 hours notice but our appts are on Mon so I don’t think someone will be in the office on Sun.

It’s freezing outside so the heat has been going all day. I hate the noise it makes. My room is hot so I just put the ceiling fan on. I want a cheeseburger from McDs but it is kind of late now. I don’t want to risk my stomach hurting all night. I am tired and I need to take my night meds soon. It’s too early for bed though so I might read for a bit. I have been reading two books and swapping them when I get tired of reading. I usually will read one book during the night and then the other before bed. I don’t think I am going to make my book challenge this year. I might be like two books short, if I finish the two I am reading right now. I have a few more days so we’ll see.