July 4th, America’s 250th birthday
It was a hot day today. The puppy wanted to stay outside but it was way too hot for her. She’d bark when she got inside. She didn’t want to stay in her room where it was cool. I tried staying with her but every noise made her jump up and run to the stairs or back door.
I went downstairs as my niece said there was food. I had a burger and some tonic. I stayed out until I couldn’t stand the heat anymore. I was shirtless. I had taken a shower because I had a blow out. Damn bowels. I screwed up with my meds. I don’t know what happened to Sat’s meds. They aren’t in their box. I never took my meds Tues night. I took the Latuda but I didn’t take the rest of the meds. I don’t know why I am getting bad at taking my meds lately. I keep screwing up.
I feel really bad I had the blow out. I was a complete mess. It totally destroyed my self-esteem. I was doing well for a while. But I got a bad bout of constipation and needed to take miralax. I always get loose stools when I take it and I have no control over them when it happens. All because of the nerve damage from my back.
My cousin is going to clean up my neck and beard tomorrow. I am glad because I just can’t seem to do it myself. I need to cut my hair again so I can shave it. I miss being smooth bald. Last night I had a hard time getting to sleep. I started reading the book I borrowed from the library. I thought it was boring but I got interested in it. I read a few chapters and then by like 1am I had to call it quits, but then my niece messaged me she was coming home so I was up for a little bit longer. Then I had to pee. I had weird dreams last night. One was about swimming pools. Given the heat, I am not surprised I am dreaming about them. I miss having access to one. Public pools were awesome. There is one down the street from me. I just can’t walk there and back. It is a little too far from my walking distance. I think it is like a half a mile away from me. There is a bus that goes by but I don’t want to be wet and take the bus afterwards.
midnightdemons7 