Write about your first crush.
She was a kid down the street from me but would come up to play with us. She had a younger sister. I had fallen and she tended to the wound and I fell in love with her from that moment on. I must have been like 5 or 6. We went to the same schools throughout our childhood and graduated high school. I never told her my feelings for her. We keep in touch today through Facebook. I still have feelings for her.
I had a hard time getting out of bed today. I didn’t go to partial. I needed to rest. I had a couple cups of coffee and then I took a shower. I was tired afterwards. I tried to nap but my damn phone kept going off. Then my DMH worker called and that was it for trying to nap. I had a good talk.
The puppy was clingy to me today. She is so cute. Her father lifted her up and when she saw me, did a flip to see me. It was so funny. Then a sock got her interest and I was old news lol.
I’ve been feeling depressed most of the day. I haven’t thought about suicide since I came home from the hospital. I’ve had no urges or intent. I just wish I had some energy or motivation. I haven’t left the house today as I just feel so shitty. I was going to take the puppy for a walk but my niece did. Twice. It is still muggy and I hate it. Next few days are going to be wicked hot. Might be a heat wave if the temps stay high enough.
Tiring Tuesday 17062025
I am a part of a study and they have been sending surveys really late so I have been going to bed late. I had a hard time getting up this morning. I wanted to get my blood work done early but that didn’t happen. I had it done after my psychiatrist appt. We discussed ketamine and both agreed it isn’t for me as an outpatient. We also talked about the hospitalization. It was a good meeting overall.
I got dressed after the appt and I am glad I checked the bus schedule as I still had a half hour before the next bus. I waited on my porch. It was a nice but humid day. My allergies this morning were terrible. I have my AC on right now. It took a long time for me to get to the bus stop because I kept getting out of breath. I had to stop every few blocks. The fitbit measured my heart rate to be 160. It went down while I rested but never dropped below 102. It took me a long time while I was out because I kept having to stop. My legs felt like jelly. I really need to go out more. If it doesn’t rain tomorrow, I will try to walk around the block. There was some light drizzle on the way home. It didn’t help the humidity.
I am wicked tired. I don’t think I will be up late doing surveys tonight. I had to remove the do not disturb and sleep mode on my phone because I didn’t know they were coming in at a late hour. Each survey is $1. I have about three weeks left in the study.
I need to shower as I am all stinky from sweating today. I will do it tomorrow. I don’t think my legs will forgive me if I try to take one tonight. My back is already cramping for whatever reason. It also has been hurting me lately. I don’t have the pain all the time, just when I try to move when laying down and it is like a belt around my waist in my lower back. I think I seriously need to invest in a new mattress. I just wish they weren’t so damn expensive.
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