Brain fog and therapy
I somehow managed to get up before 9. I took my meds and then called patient registration to update my insurance information. The guy I talked with must have asked me if I was male three fucking times. I just wanted to get off the phone. So far my information has been updated on the patient website. It probably will in a couple of days. I am going to get my blood done tomorrow and if I have the energy, go to UMB to get my ID.
I had therapy and it was a tense session as I was anxious for most of it. I had brain fog that I had to pay attention to what my therapist was saying because her voice was affected by a cold she got. We talked about my anxieties about things. I said I would list out the things I need to do before college starts. I have a somewhat routine that I do when I wake up. I just need to do this consistently. For the most part, I do except my wake up times are different each day.
My therapist and I talked about my mother and how much she “controlled” me. I am realizing now with her being gone just how much influence she had in my life. I know I emotionally cut her off from me but was more attached to her in other ways. I always had to check in with her. There were days where if I wasn’t up by a certain time, she would call me just to wake me up.
I tried taking a nap after therapy but all I did was rest for about an hour. I thought it would help the fog but it didn’t go anywhere. I still feel so cloudy. It has been hard to concentrate on things. I still haven’t worked on my ending for my book. I want to write at least another page or so. I keep getting distracted. I can’t seem to focus on stuff. I finished the John Grisham book the other night. I just kept on reading it until it was done. It sucked me in. Now I can read Neil Gaiman’s Fragile Things. I am thinking I will be done with my book by the end of this week and then I will look into publishers. I can always publish on Amazon whenever. I have to find a literary agent. I was hoping just to go to the publishers but they don’t speak to authors. Ugh. Not sure if this will cost me money or not. I am paying an editor either way, just for my peace of mind.
Since my hospitalization back in 2022, I have been wondering if I have ADHD. I did an online test and it was like no, you don’t have symptoms. That was slightly reassuring as I didn’t think I had it. Tomorrow I plan on getting my bloodwork done. I also need to stop at the library to pick up a book I requested. If I remember to get off at the stop before the station, I will pick it up before heading into town. If not, I will just pick it up after.
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