Identities that shape us

I had a good discussion with my therapist about how last session brought up how much I was a boy and developed as a girl. It was really confusing and I didn’t have anyone to talk to about it. The only person who I knew that was a man and dressed as a woman was the leader of the BAGLY support group. She was always surrounded by young males so I never had a chance for a one to one conversation with her. I think if I came out sooner, my life wouldn’t have been so painful. My therapist pointed out that she thinks I identify as being depressed and suicidal. She is right. But being depressed as well as being suicidal is transient. I have other states of being throughout the day. It comes down to my thoughts that go into the feelings that go into the behavior. All are connected in a triad. CBT can break the cycle. I told my therapist today what I thought about a year ago when I was back to my senses. I had a medically serious suicide attempt and I was pissed I was still alive. I didn’t tell her I thought my chance of surviving weren’t that great. The only thing keeping me in this world was having top surgery. It was what kept me going. It was crucial I identify more as a man than anything else in my life. As long as I had those things on my chest, I was not a man and it was literally killing me.

My therapist and I talked briefly about my parents. I know my father would never see me as his son. I don’t even think he would have accepted I liked women. My mother was a little more open but not by much. I will never know if she saw me as her son because she was dying or because her mental state was affected. I know when I came home from the hospital she still used the wrong pronouns. At that point, I didn’t care enough to correct her. It bothered me but there was nothing I could do about it. She wasn’t going to change. It took a lot just to have her call me G.

I like to think the suicidal stuff is behind me but I know it isn’t. It will always be an option for me. I’ve been suicidal since I was eight and even though I am more congruent with my thoughts, I have a shitload of trauma to deal with that could easily make me suicidal again. I learned today that even though I have a suicidal career, I can still change it to something else. It is going to take a lot of work though. As Dr. Doyle says, 1% is better than 0. I’ll be continuing to write about my midnight demons in this blog. It is the one thing that keeps me sane. And I hope that if you have found my blog because you are suicidal, there is hope. Things do change. It took a year for me but I’m not completely out of woods and that is ok. You are here now and I hope you stay.

what a fucking morning

What a fucking morning

I’ve been up since like 0400. Around 0800, I got a text and email from SNAP office telling me that they needed another document. I check to see what the fuck it is now they need, and it is a letter from my employer stating that I am on leave of absence. UGH I have told them I am on disability. I haven’t worked since 2012. They need a letter stating that. I have no idea who to contact so I track down the HR number. I talk to someone after waiting fifteen minutes on hold only to be told I have to request the letter through a website. I go to the website and can’t login because the numbers they have for verification I don’t know what the hell it is and I think one of them is old cell number. I ended up sending an email to the website. So now I wait. All this fucking documentation better be worth it. I am currently only getting $23.

My bitch sister told me to fold the towels that she washed. She NEVER fucking folds them but will wash them. My clothes didn’t get washed so I just put them in. My back is fucking killing me. And it is only 12. My only saving grace is that my coffee got delivered this morning so I had decent coffee today. I have had two cups of the house blend and one of the weak Columbian stop and shop brand that I will never buy again. I still have the McDonalds brand. I will need all the coffee today.

I have therapy at 4 today. I am either going to be a jittery patient or a sleepy one. I haven’t shaved yet. I ordered McD’s because I didn’t feel like making something. I really want dinosaur nuggets but I will have to go to the store to get it. I am contemplating this. But I have run out of gas and I still need to shave and brush my teeth. Honestly, laundry was not on my to do list today. It has taken so much energy.

What food would you say is your specialty? #WPDP

What food would you say is your specialty?

I have to seriously think about this. It could be my dirty gravy or chili cornbread casserole. Though now the new casserole I made is a hit.