Your life without a computer: what does it look like?
Oh gosh, guess I’d have to use my phone more lol, but seriously it would suck trying to blog every day. I like making a word doc before posting. But don’t do it when I post on my phone. I don’t know why that is. I have the word app. I use it to sometimes start a document to finish it on my laptop.
Some goals accomplished today
I had quite a list of to do today but after I did a bunch, I couldn’t sit at Starbucks and read like I wanted to. Today was t shot day so I did that after I had my first cup of coffee. I had to use my sister’s coffee as I am out of mine. After the shot, I brushed my teeth and shaved. My hair where I am not touching is growing and needs to be trimmed. I made an appointment with my barber for Tues. I felt so wiped out afterwards but I felt good that I shaved. I still needed to go out of the house and get my meds. SHIT I just realized I forgot to get my meds at one pharmacy. Fuck. I will do that tomorrow. I have enough meds for the week so I don’t really need it until the weekend.
I wanted to buy a comp notebook so I went to the pharmacy to get my meds and picked one up. I also wanted one of the Gatorade drinks that is for hydration. It was really warm today for October. I have the AC on as my room is really warm. I put in my mobile order for Starbucks and mailed my things I needed to. I got to Starbucks and was wicked thirsty. I drank like two cups of water before touching my coffee. I bought something to eat as I was hungry. I thought about getting something sweet but half way through eating, I just wanted to go home.
I thought about stopping at Walgreens for some chocolate but I just wanted to get home. I might get some tomorrow when I go to the grocery store. I need to have my regular coffee before I go insane. My sister has French vanilla coffee. I like it but it isn’t strong enough for me. I want my Pike’s.
I am hurting right now. Ankle has flared up. I am between a 4 and a 6 on the pain scale. I also have the beginning of a headache because I was in the sun for about a half hour. I was early for the bus, but it was late so I sat in the sun. It was really warm today, in the 80s. It isn’t humid so I don’t have to worry about storms.
I sent my pcp a message asking if I need to see a cardiologist for the EKG changes and she said the changes were mild and I can continue to be monitored by her, but if the pressure feeling comes back to call the office right away. She said I might need a stress test but it is indicated right now. I am glad I don’t have to see the cardiologist.
I am wicked tired. The exhaustion of being out for a little bit is hitting me. I pushed myself today and basically did opposite action, which is a DBT skill. I wanted to stay in bed but I went out. Saturday is a trans event that is local so I will be attending. I hope I get to meet some people. And of course it is supposed to fucking rain, again. UGH. It will be hard getting up around 0630 so I can leave the house by 0730. I have to check the bus schedule. I haven’t done commuting on a Saturday in a long time so not sure how the buses run that early in the day. It should be fun.
What skill would you like to learn?
Gosh, auto mechanics for one. Though psychologically, I’d like to learn DBT a little more but not intensively. BCBT too. That is brief cognitive behavioral therapy.
I woke up about a half hour ago because I had to pee. I let Pandora play and I really didn’t get into deep sleep. I couldn’t help it. They were playing 90s country and I miss hearing all these cool songs from artists that are no longer popular like they were.
I think I am going to have another session of therapy this week. My depression is bad. I hit rock bottom after our session. I don’t know why. I’m not troubled by the memories we worked on anymore. There is still other stuff I know I need to work on.
I want to go to Starbucks today and read Managing Suicidal Risk. Don’t know if I will as I haven’t slept yet. I need to shave as it has been a few days. My hair is growing back in and if I don’t shave today, I might as well let it grow in and then see my barber in a couple of weeks.
My youngest sister is going on vacation to the Dominican Republic. I need to watch my niece while they are away. Fun. My niece is 18.
I’m tired of being tired. I asked my psychiatrist if we can go up on my antidepressant. He said ok. Just hope it doesn’t fuck up my sleep. It can make me hyper. If it does, I might switch to morning so that at least I will have energy during the day.
Think I will color until Ativan kicks in. I need some sleep.
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