Author: Midnight Demon

TAYLOR IS ENGAGED!!!

Finally happened! She said yes!!! Love Story on repeat today! I am so fucking happy!!

So I have been in a somewhat good mood since finding out Taylor is engaged. I literally lost my shit and had to listen to Love Story a million times again. I am absolutely crazy right now. Seeing them together on the podcast last week was so sweet the way they were together. I couldn’t be happier for her.

I have had a stomach ache all day. I had the uncrustables, which was so damn good. Then after my second cup of coffee, my stomach freaked out and has been hurting ever since. I tried to eat some rice, plain, no salt or butter, but only had a few bites. I drank a big glass of iced tea. I have been trying to stay hydrated so I don’t get headaches as well.

I was watching the puppy. I need to get advice on how to potty train her because she keeps peeing and pooping in the kitchen. There was dried pee on the floor under the table today and I was wondering where the smell was coming from. I was so mad because she peed in multiple places. And she shit. She hid from me when I came downstairs. I thought she wasn’t home as I saw the crate and bed empty. She was under the bed. Ugh.

I talked with my DMH case worker today. We mostly talked about the puppy and the semester starting next week. I am wondering why I am still talking to her because we don’t get anything accomplished and she isn’t a therapist. I just update her on things in my life. I told her I have a new therapist starting tomorrow. I am kind of nervous about it. Hopefully it settles down the more I see her and get to know her. It is only our second meeting. Hoping also that she doesn’t do more questionnaires.

I signed up for a CAMS-care webinar that focuses on contemporary suicidology. Will be interesting. Dr. Jobes is leading the chat so I had to attend. I love him so much. I can’t wait till the semester starts. I need to finish the chapter in the psych history book I started reading. Think I will go to Starbucks on Thurs and read for an hour. It should take me that long to finish it. It is long reading. I got to get my Microeconomics book in its folder. Both of my classes have apps with it that I had to buy for the semester. I hope this class isn’t intensive. I am already planning on the 400 level psych class to be.

Up early again

I woke up around 6am and couldn’t go back to sleep. I waited for my sister to leave and then I assessed the damaged caused by a water gallon breaking. Half a gallon leaked on to my clothes and they were all wet. I had to wash them because some of them smelled. I had a good armful of clothes. I brought them downstairs and the puppy wanted attention. There was stuff in the washer so I had to take that out but the puppy was in the way so I couldn’t put my clothes down. She was so cute today even though she took a dump right next to me in the kitchen. I freaked on her as I saw it. She gave absolutely no indication she had to poop. Little bugger.

I just saw the highlights of Mike Lowell in the 2007 Sox World Series games. I started crying. It just makes me so happy. That was the DVD that I cried the entire thing. I swear I used up a box of tissues. That year was phenomenal. I don’t think the Sox can make it that far this year. They have been up and down the past few games. But we got three games against the Skankees so that was good.

I got three calls today from my therapist’s office telling me of our appt on Wed. I have no idea if it was a recording or what but, damn. Why you calling me three times leaving me the same messages?? And they are just going to send me an email the day of with the link for the appt. Tomorrow I meet with my DMH worker. I don’t know if I am going to go into Boston or not. I will decide tomorrow. My legs were hurting me as I walked a little bit today just around the square to get my meds. I was able to get my migraine med today rather than tomorrow. I took it and it hurt like a bitch. I was expecting some sting but it hurt more than it usually does. I used it in my left leg rather than right. I got to use the right for the weight loss med on Friday. I have been alternating the sites to the different areas. So far, it doesn’t hurt. I just get stomach upset. I have been constipated the last few days. If I don’t go today, I might have to take some miralax.

There was construction this morning and afternoon. I didn’t think I would be able to go out as they had two huge mounds of dirt in front of my house. They were digging on the street and sidewalk. I ended up taking a Lyft to the Square. I didn’t have a caffeinated drink just a refresher. Then I got my meds and one of the rice bowls I like. It seems I can only get it at the pharmacy. I haven’t been able to get it in the grocery store though the Asian market that just opened might have it as I think it is Japanese company that makes it. It is so good. They also had a new Uncrustables with chocolate and hazelnut. I had to try it. I will have it tomorrow morning with my coffee.

I ain’t gonna be that easy to leave

I finally put “make you miss me” on my phone and am playing it on repeat. I still need to get the rest of the album. Might be tomorrow when I get it. I also want to get Trisha Yearwood’s new one. Cam came out with a new album too. So much new music. Taylor was lip syncing Nate Smith’s “Can you die from a broken heart” and I fell in love with it. Avril Lavigne sings along with him and it’s an awesome duet.

I slept through the night, which was rare. I woke up needing to pee but I didn’t get up till my med alarm went off. I had weird dreams. I woke up so tired. I had a cup of coffee which bothered my stomach so I didn’t have a second cup right away. I made something to eat and had a second cup but that really bothered my stomach. I am hurting right now from eating. I didn’t have too much food, just some tater tots and two pieces of chicken. I couldn’t finish the third I made. I will have it later if I get hungry.

I am watching the puppy but she hasn’t stayed still long enough for me to snap a pic of her. I love posting pics of her on my Bluesky acct. She has been good today, so far. I haven’t done much today. I just feel so tired and I don’t know why as I slept pretty good. I really think the new med makes me tired for some reason. I have been slowly clearing my bed. Every time I walk by I remove a few items from it. I have no idea what I am going to do with the clothes. I just pile them in a corner of my room.

I took a shower yesterday and shaved. I was still tired afterwards. I did my meds for the week today. Tomorrow I got to pick up the migraine med if it is ready. It’s out of stock so I hope it comes in tomorrow. I got to give it on Tues. I just have two appts this week, therapy and seeing my DMH worker. It’s supposed to be cool so maybe I will go into Boston to see her. Then I can go to the grocery store to pick some stuff up. I need half and half again. The new med is really interrupting my joy of coffee drinking by upsetting my stomach afterwards. I’ve only been having one cup but today I really needed two. My stomach is killing me right now. For some reason my upper back has been cramping the last few hours. It’s driving me crazy. Laying down hasn’t helped. I can’t find a comfortable position. Sucks.

I will be 50 four months from today. I can’t believe it. A half century old.

I slept really late today. I didn’t get up till 430pm. I had one cup of coffee cause I needed it. Had some oatmeal and then I made sweet potatoes. It was so good but I couldn’t finish them all.

I missed the game. They won 12-1. 3rd game in a row they won against the snakes. Love it. They have one more game tomorrow.

It’s hot today. My electric bill came in. $300. I’ll pay half now and then later the other half. It’s stuffy in my room so need the AC on. I need to fix the curtain cause it fell the other day when it was windy out.

I’m watching the puppy. She is going nuts without her mom here. I don’t know when she will be home.

I took a shower and shaved. It made me so tired. I had to sit down a few times in the shower and I got chest cramps while washing up. Luckily they went away on their own.