Category: depression

Still not feeling well

I only woke up once during the night and pretty much just slept through. My med alarm went off but I didn’t get up right away. I went back to sleep and had some weird dreams before getting up around 1030. The dreams caused a headache. I felt like shit and really wanted to cancel my appointment but I needed to go. I decided to take a cab as it was raining. I took a shower hoping it would help me feel better but it didn’t.

I saw my surgeon for approximately five minutes. He said it looked good and that I was free to go. If I had any problems to contact him. I told him about the chest wall pain and he said that was normal. I felt reassured but what to do about the pain? I didn’t ask. Just do what I have been doing, I guess.

I went to my favorite Thai restaurant for pad thai. I was really feeling ill because I hardly ate or drank yesterday. I was hungry. I just had a cup of coffee and nothing else. I wanted a piece of cake but just didn’t cut myself a piece. I picked up my antibiotics. I hope they help this shitty feeling. I came home a sweaty mess. It was cool but warm out and I had dressed too warmly. I should have worn shorts instead of sweatpants. I ate my meal and it was so good. I took my meds and then went up to my room. I tried to nap but couldn’t.

My friend sent me the pdf of the cover I liked. It was too big so I sent her the dimensions that she needs to have it in. If all goes well, I could have the book live this weekend.

I feel so shitty, like I could pass out shitty. I am not running a fever. My sinuses are congested and I have phlegm in the back of my throat. Allergies are bad today, which doesn’t help. Least the headache has gone away. I am trying to take in fluids. I hope increasing them make me feel better because I feel awful. I don’t want to do anything but lie down. Because I was sleeping most of the day yesterday, I didn’t end up taking my recycle out or trash out. I am going to try and clean my room a little at a time each day.

I was up all night. I couldn’t sleep for the life of me. I slept on and off throughout the day. I am really depressed and feel like shit. Bladder is hurting me. I still haven’t picked up the antibiotics. I’m just going under the covers. I’ll write more tomorrow.

Final is done!

My sister had me up early this morning as she needed a house sitter. The workers came and they finally decided on what to do to fix our water build up situation that they created. I was there for three hours and it was for nothing as they didn’t do any work inside her house. They just basically decided what they needed to finish the job. I went back upstairs and tried to nap but couldn’t. I was too nervous.

I left my house shortly after 1 but the bus wasn’t coming for like 15 mins. I was worried I was going to be late but I made it with 15 mins to spare. I tried going over some of my notes. I took the exam and was done within a half hour. I think I did good as some of the questions were the ones on the exams I was studying. I know I got the extra credit answer right as I looked it up when I left. I was second guessing myself. 

My pcp is out for the week and the covering doctor sent in some meds for this UTI I have. I am on the wrong antibiotic so tomorrow will be starting a new one for the next seven days. Ugh. I have to take it three times a day. I am going to have to put it in my app so I remember to take it. It still took me two hours to get home. I was kind of hungry but I was also tired so didn’t make anything just yet. Around 6 I decided to make a pizza. My nephew was cooking with his girlfriend. I decided to let the pizza cool for a bit before eating it so I went downstairs hoping my sister was home. She wasn’t. I talked with her husband for a bit and then went upstairs to eat. I ate the whole pizza. I am so fucking full. I don’t know why my appetite is the way it is. I had three meals today.

I was hoping to have my prescription delivered but there is some kind of restriction on the antibiotic that prevents me from doing so. Ugh. I was hoping to have a day of rest tomorrow. If I wasn’t feeling so crummy I would wait till Thurs. My bladder is now affected so I need to treat this before I get really sick. If the doctor didn’t send me a message tonight, I probably would have gone to the ED as I feel sick. I am not running a fever but feel feverish. It also is hot in my room, which isn’t helping. I need to get up to turn the big light off so I can run the fan and my legs are just hurting too much to do it.

I wanted to shower and shave today but didn’t. I will tomorrow as my hair is growing in. I don’t remember the last time I shaved. I think it was the last time I showered which was Saturday. Sox game is tied right now due to some dumb mistakes. Errors are killing us big time. I think we have the most in the league. Terrible.

studying studying studying

I have been studying since this morning. I have been up since 0230. I woke up to pee and couldn’t get back to sleep. Therapy was good as I was anxious about the final. She suggested that I write out the stuff so I have been sitting at Starbucks for the past two hours. I am tired despite having my latte. I can’t write anymore. I am more than half way through exam 2 key. Prof gave us a curve on exam 4 and brought my grade to a 95. I have a solid 86 right now (B). I want to see if I can get a B+ by taking the final. It is a game at this point as it can only benefit me at this point. Trying to learn 11 chapters has been difficult. I did poorly again with exam 2 so I am paying attention to what I am writing.

The results of my culture is back. I don’t know if they will be making antibiotic changes. I was worried that the sample was lost but the nurse said the sensitivities were pending so that was good. I have never had a urine culture take so long before. It isn’t the usual suspects so that might have been why.

I am getting really sleepy. I think my gas has run out. I have like twenty minutes before the bus gets here. I have been listening to Red and Tortured Poets. I mixed it up some. The songs were taking over my brain so I needed more songs to break the loop in my brain. Funny we didn’t go over songs stuck in your head during the course, unless I missed that class.

My therapist and I talked about what I will do now that classes are over. I honestly don’t know what I will be doing. I need to clean my room some. I have been getting out the recycling that has piled up. I think I have like 6 paper bags and a few small recycle bags. I brought down four and some boxes. I might try tomorrow to bring down some more before I have to go to class. I don’t know if I am going to have something at Starbucks tomorrow. I know I am going to have a latte. I don’t know what I will eat though. I had a good turkey and pesto sandwich today. I might have that tomorrow.