Category: depression

Still depressed and down

I woke up a few minutes before my med alarm would go off. I took my meds and used the bathroom. Then I went back to sleep. I didn’t want to do anything today. There was dog poop in the kitchen when I went downstairs. I wasn’t going to clean it up.

My sister called me about 1ish. I decided to get up. The poop was still in the kitchen. I made my coffee. Her daddy was in the bathroom so I waited till he was out to tell him to pick it up. It was freezing outside. I don’t think the temps got above 18 today. I had one cup of coffee. I wasn’t hungry and I really wasn’t thirsty. I took my weight when I got back to my room. I lost a little.

I went back to bed. I didn’t want to do a damn thing today. I submitted the questions early in the morning as I couldn’t sleep. I read for a bit till 3am. I was tired and stressed out. I decided to order some half and half as I didn’t get it yesterday. I also tried to order some more Powerade. The things I wanted most were not available. I was so upset. But I got chocolate chip cookies which were good. I made a chicken sandwich and then had some cookies. I finished off the container of dates with my coffee.

I’ve mostly been in bed today. I tried to sleep but didn’t really succeed. Tomorrow when I go grocery shopping I will pick up the stuff I need for the chicken broccoli casserole I like. I haven’t made it in a while and it will be good for a few days. I got such a headache. This is like the sixth day in a row I have had a headache. I don’t know if it is because I am not hydrating enough or what. I have been sneezing my head off so my congestion hasn’t helped.

Depressed today

I have been in bed most of the day. I just don’t want to do anything and I NEED to study. There is a lot of stuff to go over. I am kind of overwhelmed and I am trying not to be or nothing will get done. I just feel so worthless. I’ve been staring at the laptop for hours and nothing has been done. I started working on it at like 3 this morning when I couldn’t sleep. I was just tossing and turning. I need to create four multiple choice questions for the sections we were assigned. Then post them. Should be easy but I am having the hardest time.

I stayed in bed as late as I could. I wasn’t hungry or thirsty but wanted coffee just out of habit. I was up like every two hours to pee and I leaked each time I got up. I don’t know why I had such urgency. I ended up taking a shower after I had my coffee. The pup wasn’t home yet. I had to open the door for her daddy.

After I showered, I went up to my room to get dressed as I didn’t bring any clothes down. I just wrapped the towel around me. I ordered some stuff on Instacart and will never do so again. Instead of getting half and half, I got a watermelon. Corn muffins were replaced with English muffins. I was not happy. Now I got to go back to a store and get the right things. My sister is going to take me Saturday when she is off work. I hadn’t eaten yet so I ordered a roast beef sandwich and they gave me the wrong sauce. I am not having a good day with ordering stuff.

Tomorrow is going to be wicked cold and I got to pick up something at the pharmacy. I haven’t been out all week. Next week I am busy all week and I have the exam to take. I just wish my brain would function so I can focus on what I need to fucking do to get this done.

I got up late today. I really didn’t want to get out of bed. I had shut off notifications on my phone so I wouldn’t be disturbed. When I got up there were a ton of messages. The NP got back to me. She said my last few reading were better than two weeks ago so now I need to do two more weeks of reading before starting the other blood pressure. I told her I restarted the weight loss drug. Didn’t get a response.

I had two cups of coffee. Also had a yogurt. I didn’t know what I wanted to eat. I was planning on making Mac and cheese for dinner but I took a nap after I looked at what I had to study for the week. Lot of chapters. She broke it down into groups. I don’t plan on studying with someone unless they approach me.

I woke up from my nap with my night time med alarm. I took an Ensure with my meds to make sure I had enough calories for the latuda. I am so tired so I am going to go back to bed. I just don’t feel like doing anything.