Category: depression

Tough day

I woke up around 2 to pee and couldn’t go back to sleep. I started sneezing and that really woke me up. I don’t remember what I did. I wrote an email to a friend. I also took some benedryl because my allergies were killing me. It took more than 2 hours to fall asleep. I did not want to get up. I stayed in bed till almost 2pm. I had to pee again so I got up. I took my meds and brushed my teeth. I had coffee and brought my laptop down to the kitchen so I could do the final thing for psych class. It was hard and I honestly don’t know if I did it right. I got some grades back. I am missing something in psych so need to go back and see if I can submit it. Test 1 for Econ came back and I failed dismally. I wrote to my advisor about possible withdrawing. She said I could take a P/F as I need just a D- to pass the course. I am just not getting the concepts in this class. I have an extra credit thing to do this week so maybe that will help. My writing has yet to fail me. Least I have that going for me.

I feel really down because I don’t feel so smart with me failing this class. I am going to write to the professor and see what can be done. Hopefully she won’t be a hardass. I think if there was lectures explaining what we are reading that would be helpful but there aren’t. I don’t know why the lower level classes are harder for me than upper level. I have a headache with everything I am trying to do.

I have been swarmed with a lot of emails today. I got a half dozen in my private email and about the same for my school. My benefits enrollment period is coming up. I wonder how much my cost per month for insurance is going to be. It’s reasonable right now but it will go up in January. I never really know how much until then. I am surprised I haven’t received the packet giving what’s available and stuff. Maybe it will be this week I will get it.

Taylor’s new album comes out on Friday and I cannot fricken wait. I have my eye appt so will be listening on the train ride there. It is a hike getting to the eye place as it is outside of Boston. They have closed so many eye places. I haven’t been able to find an eye doctor since mine retired. I hope I can afford new glasses if I need them. Makes me nervous. All these expenses. I got to get groceries too. My cart is back up near $300 again. I got to get rid of some stuff. I tend to go a little crazy when I am looking for something. I buy things in different flavors. I think I am going to order the drinks and then go to a cheaper grocery store. My sister said she will take me. I want to get some snacks like cheese.

I have things this week. Tomorrow is my nephew’s birthday and I have a webinar. Wed is a graduate open house at UMB I want to attend. Thurs is DMH worker appt. and Fri eye. Busy. I hope I can keep up with school work.

Saturday Blog 27092025

I woke up early to meet someone but they stood me up. I waited an hour for a response then went back to bed. I slept for a little bit and had a bad dream. Then I check my news app and see the felon is going to send troops to “war in Portland”. He has lost his frigging mind. And what’s worse, no one is going to stop him. People are going to be killed. I fear Civil War is going to break out soon. It will be against the ICE and DHS first then hopefully it won’t be against the military. It is just chaos right now.

Sox won last night which sealed their postseason fate. I am so happy for them. I wish I could attend one of the last two games.

My allergies have been terrible today. I went out and it is hot. I wanted to be shirtless so damn bad. I went to my Starbucks one last time. Today was their last day of being open at that location. I don’t know where I will be going for coffee and studying now. I am thinking of changing my pharmacy to the one around the corner as there is no reason to go to the Square anymore. Still, it gets me out of the house for a bit longer than 20 minutes.

I did read while at Starbucks until I got overwhelmed with everything. I tried to complete some of the tasks but one was a voice thread and I figured I would do that when I got home. The other stuff I need to look up because I am dumb. There is also a 28 page thing on Jung that I need to read. Fuck. I haven’t even started with the textbook. Game is on early so maybe tonight I will read it. OSU is playing right now as well as the Sox. I am going to be flipping between apps.

My sister is making steak and sausages tonight but just asked me if I wanted soup. I want meat. Actually what I want is a pepperoni pizza. I wanted it last night but I knew if I ordered it, my stomach would hate me all night. It was like after 630 when I got the craving for something to eat. I settled for some zucchini bread my sister made. Wasn’t the same thing as pizza but helped my hunger. I really didn’t eat much yesterday other than having a tuna sandwich which the puppy wanted some of. I didn’t share. I actually don’t think mayo is good for dogs. I don’t know if she would have eaten the tuna.

I am tired. I nearly fell asleep on the bus ride home. I have to stay up though.

Humid day

I had a nightmare last night so it was difficult to go back to sleep. I got up around 11. I wanted to shower and go to Starbucks to do my quiz and then pick up my meds. None of that has happened yet. I did get my migraine med delivered so I could take it. I took my quiz after reading the notes and failed. I suck at this class. Out of four quizzes, only one I have passed with an 80. I am sure my test I failed too. I think I am going to P/F this class so it doesn’t mess with my GPA. I still have to get started on the books for this class so I can write the paper.

I’ve had my AC running all day. The house is hot. I can’t open the back door because my sister took the screen door off and it’s all open now. I don’t want flies to get in the house. It’s humid in the house. I’ve been watching the puppy most of the day. I need to read psych but can’t focus. I had two cups of coffee today. I made a tuna sandwich which the pup wanted. I didn’t share with her. I kept the sandwich close to me so she wouldn’t get it. I made potatoes but not sure what I am going to do with them. I have them cooling right now.

I had some money left in my account after my bills got paid so I ordered some drinks and water. I am totally out of them. I drank the last of the water last night. I was so thirsty. Soon as the water was delivered, I filled my water bottle and drank. I did make iced tea.

I am tired and don’t feel like reading.  It is all stuff on my laptop not the book. I wish I could print out what I need to read so it wouldn’t strain my neck. I have my eye appt next week. I am hoping to get new glasses if I have a new prescription. It is tough finding glasses I like.

I can’t believe in a few months I am going to be fifty. Like WTF. I still got to find out how much my cake is going to be. I know what I want and where I want to have it made. I just got to bite the bullet and call the place. I wish they would just post their prices on their website. Isn’t that what their website is for??