Category: depression

Father’s day 2025

I had a pretty good day today. I had my favorite foods and the weather was nice. I spent some time with my family and then I went out to dinner with my friend and her kids. My aunt called during my dinner. I let it go to voicemail. It was funny because I wanted to call her yesterday but it was too late. I am glad she called me.

It’s weird, I was just thinking about my mother and calling my niece to see how she was. I miss her so much. She has been on my mind most of the day. I know today is Father’s day but I have just thought about my father in passing.

I was up during the night. I had slept for a little bit and then woke up around midnight. I couldn’t get back to sleep till after 3. I read a book. I also played my game because I had a timed part that I wanted to complete but I couldn’t. I am doing the same thing today and I don’t think I am going to finish it.

I didn’t pay attention to the ballgame today. But we won and that is the important thing. The snakes lost, which is also good. I am so tired. I haven’t taken my meds yet. I will in about a half hour. I am so full from dinner. I hope I don’t get heartburn during the night. I hate that.

Saturday Blog 14062025

I slept ok during the night but I woke up still feeling tired. I didn’t get up till around noon. I had a couple cups of coffee and something to eat. I was still feeling tired. I laid down to rest but didn’t sleep. My sister made beef stroganoff but it was mostly just mushrooms which I don’t like. The beef was tough. I didn’t like it much.

I wanted to cut my hair today but I never got around to it. I need to shower and am having a hard time doing it. I never got around to it last night as I went to bed around 8. Today was rainy. Seems every weekend there is clouds and rain. Sucks.

My mood is somewhat better than it has been. I think the ketamine takes a few days to work for me. I haven’t felt suicidal in the past couple of days since being home from the hospital. I still been feeling sort of hopeless though. I haven’t done anything today. I just don’t feel good. My side has been hurting me and I don’t know if it muscle or my gallbladder. My teeth also hurt today. I hope that doesn’t mean I will be getting a migraine. I’ve been taking Robaxin today as my chest muscles have been hurting me lately.

Tomorrow my friend is taking me out for dinner. I think it will be nice to see her and her kids again. So I need to shower before then. I will try tonight, maybe before the game. I wanted to listen to the game last night but I fell asleep. They won and the Yankees lost. HAHA. I love it when they lose. I just hope I can be awake.

Crazy thing about Friday

I don’t get the hype about Fridays. Maybe it is because I always worked the weekend. I went to my groups today. It was fine until the last one. The last one was complete chaos and I wanted to leave as it was giving me such anxiety. The counselor gave an exercise about different things and everyone started talking at once. It was nuts. I didn’t like it at all. I got a call from their psychiatrist. I told her that I didn’t need anything. Nothing got changed while I was in the hospital. I made it so I can see my psychiatrist Tues. I need to get my blood drawn. I am hoping to get it done in the morning and then be home by the appt. I should be. I might go to the library to get the Finlay Donovan book. I still haven’t had a chance to get it yet.

I was starving after the last group as I didn’t have breakfast. I had a turkey sandwich and then some cookies and a protein bar. I had it with a cup of coffee. I had three cups today. And I am still tired. It was cooler today but I didn’t go out. I think tomorrow I will. I want to go to Starbucks for a drink. And I still need to buy some sandwich bread.

I’ve been feeling ok today. I think the ketamine needed a few days to work. I am not suicidal and I am not depressed or hopeless. I feel pretty good. I just wish I had some energy so I could maybe clear off my bed and change my sheets. It’s always such a huge task for me. I still have to shower. I think I am going to do that before bed tonight.