midnightdemons7

Listening to Christmas music

My sister woke me up around noon. She asked if I still wanted to go to the grocery store and I did as my cousin backed out of taking me. I quickly got dressed and was brushing my teeth when she called again to say she was here. I got my things and was ready before my sisters were finished. I got a pumpkin pie and some pumpkin eggnog. I spent almost $60 on the few things I bought. I am making a charcuterie board for Christmas and needed the cheeses and meats. That was the most expensive part of what I bought. I bought a container that had two different cheeses and pepperoni. It was like $15. Shit.

I came home and needed coffee. I was only able to have one cup before my sister kicked me out of the kitchen because she was making stuff. I had some oatmeal. I need another cup of coffee. I shaved and then went up to my room. I plan on showering soon. My sister said I stink. I know it’s been a few days since I last showered. I need to do my meds. I got a text from my pharmacy. Even though I don’t have auto-refills, they still fill my meds every month. I will pick them up tomorrow when I go for my birthday drink at Starbucks.

It’s fricken so cold out, like 17 degrees. I never took my AC out of the window. I hope it will be ok. It’s covered in snow. I had a late dinner and then I took my shower. It was cold in the bathroom as we don’t have heat there. I washed quickly and then dried off. I didn’t bring my clothes down so I just wrapped the towel around me and went up to my room. After I rested a few minutes, I did my meds that I had neglected to do this afternoon. I completely forgot. I am out of the Depakote. I have just a few days worth. Hopefully I will pick it up tomorrow. I changed the music to the Lukes, Luke Bryan and Combs.

I am tired. I took a nap for a little bit and had some weird dreams. I am going to watch a show tonight with Lisa Kudrow. It’s a new series she is in. I don’t know what I want to read. It’s not that I lack books. I have bought a few during the semester. And I still have the Finlay Donovan series to finish. I have a book on grief I want to read. Maybe I will start that. It’s a short book.

I didn’t sleep at all last night. I finished the library book i borrowed and it was like 330 by the time I finished it. I had taken a trazodone, all the good it did me. I took a nap after I had some ramen about 430pm. I woke up to my med alarm.

I didn’t do anything I wanted to do today and I’ve been sneezing a lot. Hope I’m not getting sick. I’ve been taking Allegra twice a day and it’s been helping. I never got around to shaving today or brushing my teeth. I wanted to clear my bed so I could wash the sheets. My cousin is taking me to the grocery store tomorrow so not sure what I’ll have energy for.

I published my 2nd memoir on an eBook site. Doesn’t hurt to get it in different places. Self-promotion is so hard. I might post to the FTM trans site that I get emails from. I had some success there selling signed copies.

I’m kind of still tired. I had three cups of coffee today. My new migraine med was delivered this morning, much earlier than I was expecting. I finally had my second dose. It was still painful. Glad it is monthly.

PTSD and a migraine

I was up half the night because I kept getting intrusive thoughts. I had fallen asleep but woke up to a weird dream and then I was up. I was sneezing. I took flonase and an Allegra. Also took some Ativan. But nothing helped the uneasy feeling. I tried not to think but it was impossible. I somehow managed to get back to sleep but I woke up with a wicked migraine.

I never left the house today. My migraine med isn’t going to be ready until tomorrow supposedly. I feel so tired and perturbed. I keep thinking that life isn’t worth it. I keep thinking about my plan.

I didn’t do anything today. I made spicy ramen for supper. It’s the only thing I ate today. I am not very hungry. I am so tired though. I wanted to take a nap but I keep having bad thoughts about things. Makes it difficult to relax.