midnightdemons7

Oh I wish these headaches would fuck off

I slept semi ok through the night. I had some weird work dreams. One of them caused a migraine. I didn’t take anything for it, I just went back to sleep. I didn’t want to get up today. I had a headache that turned into a migraine so I canceled my appointment with my DMH worker. I felt bad doing it but I needed a shower and it was going to take a lot of spoons to take one. I also had to shave my head and trim my beard. I eventually got up at noon. I had the quesadilla that I ordered yesterday and two cups of coffee.

I am so damn tired. I wanted to clear my bed but I just got the recycled off. I haven’t had the energy to do anything else. I tried napping but wasn’t successful. I had ice cream for dinner. I didn’t want anything else. I had to take a gabapentin because I keep getting neuropathy pains in my head every time the cool breeze touches my head. Last night I fell asleep before 7pm and woke up around midnight. I took a trazodone and I think I ended up journaling for bit or read. I don’t really remember. I kept thinking about things to dream about so I wouldn’t be “caught off guard” with emotional stuff.

I bought the new Sugarland album. It’s only four songs. I love Georgia is Yours. I cannot wait to see them Halloween night. I hope these headaches and migraines are gone by then. I just took a triptan as the newer migraine med hasn’t helped. It is going to take a while for the Topamax to build up. It will be at least two weeks before I am at the 100 mg dose daily. I am only on 25mg right now. I go up next week. I hope it doesn’t make me dopey. Classes start Tues. I am wicked nervous the headaches are going to interfere with my concentration. I am trying to muddle through with them but it is so hard when all I want to do is rest my head on my pillow. I am trying to stay up late (by late I mean at least 9pm) but it is hard when your head hurts so much. I am thinking about going to the ED if this cycle of headaches don’t improve.

Consult

I met with the dream consult today and it was a good meeting. She is wondering if the dreams are kind of a prodrome to the migraines or if the dream itself causes me to go into a “shock” of trauma. I ended up getting a migraine during the meeting. I have been fight it off but it hasn’t settled down. We decided to do some work before I go to sleep to put me into a safe space where only certain things are allowed in. I will see her probably next month to report back to her. I sent a message to my pcp to ask if there is a chance this could be menopausal as I haven’t had an estrogen test in a long time.

I had woken up with a migraine this morning. I had to go pee and man did my head hurt. I went back to sleep. I didn’t take any meds. I woke up a few hours later to pee again. I took my meds and slept. I didn’t want to get up but I had to for my appointment. I started the Topamax last night. I haven’t had much of an appetite today but I had to eat something. I ordered taco bell when I woke up from my nap. I still got a headache. I am hoping having some food will make the headache go away. I only had one cup of coffee today. I could be dehydrated as I have been sweating most of the day. It’s hot today.

I wanted to take a shower today but still haven’t found the energy to do it. I sweated a lot at the game last night. It was so hot and walking around in the heat made me so fricken tired. Sox won. I am so glad. We had good seats, right in center field. I got to take a pic of my favorite catcher. I love being at the park, even if I was tired. It was so fun. I made sure to use the bathroom before leaving, this time. My sister was shocked that I used the men’s room. I don’t know why. I couldn’t use the women’s room with a full beard on my face. Like seriously??

I don’t know if I am going to listen to the game tonight. I am pretty beat with this migraine. I did a lot of walking last night. My legs are still hurting me. I am glad I didn’t have to go out today. Tomorrow I meet with my DMH worker. I might meet up with my sister after the appointment to go home. Maybe I will pick up some hotdogs at the grocery store.

Game day

I didn’t want to get up today. I was so tired after being up close to 20 hours yesterday. I had woken up at 3 and couldn’t go back to sleep. I woke up today at 4 and had a migraine because I had disturbing dreams. I see the dream consult tomorrow. I took meds and then managed to get back to sleep. I had to pee around 0830 and after took my meds. I think I slept for another two hours before I got up. I had a cup of coffee. I am not really hungry but am looking forward to hotdogs in a couple of hours.

I went and picked up my meds. I looked at the directions for the Topamax and it’s pretty straightforward. I will start it tonight after the game. I am so excited to go to the game even though I know they will most likely lose. Criswell is pitching and he sucks. He gives up the long ball almost as much as Pivetta but he does it more often. Tonight is Italian night so we hope to get jerseys. It is wicked hot today and I was sweating a lot when I came back home. I have been trying to keep my fluids up so I don’t get a headache.

Last night I had to take an Ativan as I was just a ball of fucking nerves. I couldn’t shut off my brain and the more I tried, the more anxious I got. Then my chest started hurting and I just lost it. I was so upset. I really love having no boobs but being in pain for more than a year post op sucks. I hate that I have to take the Robaxin around the clock in order to get relief. I see the NP in Oct and I am going to ask what I can do about this pain. We have tried a few things but nothing seems to keep it away. Maybe I need some PT or something.

I am tired and I had another cup of coffee when I came home. I still haven’t eaten anything. Nothing seems appealing. I have leftover Buffalo fried cauliflower that is really good and some fries. I also have cookies and some brownies that my cousin gave me. I need a nap.

I need to go to the social security office this week. I just don’t know when I will go. Maybe Thurs if I can get up early enough. I wanted to get up at nine so I can start a routine and failed miserably. Getting up for classes is going to be hard, especially as I need to leave earlier than I wanted to because there are going to be shuttle buses after the first week of classes. It’s going to be a two hour commute coming home and I am not looking forward to it.

I brushed my teeth and shaved my head today. I need to get more razors. I think that will be next month’s expense.