midnightdemons7

Best buzz I’m gonna find

I got up later than I had planned. I woke up at 8 and then I snoozed. I couldn’t stay up as I was up half the night again. I really didn’t go back to sleep until daylight, which was probably around 5am or so. I had two cups of coffee and then I had to leave the house. I was late for my appointment with my case manager. I missed the bus and the next one was a little late. I did a lot of walking. I didn’t know which direction I was going home yet.

I met with my case manager for a little more than an hour. We had a good talk. She gave me some recommendations for therapy and Mass Rehab. I will be calling on Monday to see what services will work for me. She had some kind of plan that I had to sign. It was ok. She had the name of my psychiatrist wrong. I corrected it. I also had her cross out my therapist as I no longer see her. We agreed to meet in like three weeks when I see my pcp next as she is across the street.

I decided to take the green line home. I had to pick up my meds so I got off the same stop I got on and then waited for the bus. I got my meds and just missed the bus home. I had to wait another 15 mins or so for the next one. It just felt like it took forever to get home. I left for home around 1530 and didn’t get home till a little after 1700. I had stopped at the 7-11 to get something to drink as I was thirsty. I haven’t had supper yet. I am going to make a turkey sandwich. I’m just not hungry yet. I am wicked tired, though.

I had fallen asleep sometime after 2100 last night. Then I woke up from a bad dream around midnight and then I was up for most of the night. My foot acted up and it was over for going back to sleep. I read and wrote in my journal. I just couldn’t settle down. I went pee twice, which didn’t help. I wanted to shower today but I woke up too late. I will take one tomorrow. I don’t plan on doing anything tomorrow.

Trying not to nap

I slept till about 8am this morning. I had woken up to pee. I had some weird dreams about my pcp. I took my meds and rested till about 11 and then got up. I had some coffee. My cousin called and asked if we were still on for grocery shopping. I really didn’t need anything but turkey breast and just decided to go. $50 later, I came home. I am tired now. I was tired after my second cup of coffee. I have been trying to avoid a nap.

I came home and put the things away. Then I made some burgers. I still had my jack pepper cheese so I put them on the burgers. It was nice. I had bought a green tea but didn’t realize it didn’t have sugar in it. It was lousy. I drank like half of it then tossed it. My cousin bought me a coffee at Dunkins and it was like drinking dishsoap. I tossed it too.

I sent a message to my psychiatrist about whether I could get a referral to another therapist or if I had to leave where I get my care to see another therapist. He responded with “we’ll talk at our next appointment” and I need to see what my goals are. Fuck. I don’t know what I want out of therapy anymore. I see the DMH worker tomorrow. I just don’t know what I want to work on.

I need to shower today. And shave. I plan on doing this in an hour. Today was my migraine shot day. I have been migraine free (knock on wood) for almost a month. I haven’t had to take my PRN meds in weeks. I need to bring my sharps containers to the police station so they can be disposed of. I sort of know where to go but it has been a long while since I last went to the area. I can take the bus there, which is easier than taking the new green line. I do need to take the green line tomorrow when I go see the DMH worker.

My sinuses are kicking my ass today and the pollen count isn’t high at all as we had rain this morning. It has cooled off considerably. I like the temps in the 50s. It isn’t exactly short weather but I don’t care, I am cool. I was really suffering with the temps being close to 80 in my room even though outside was in the 70s. That is uncomfortable for me. I hate the heat. I keep meaning to clear the AC area but I just have no fucking energy. Just shopping took all I had. I was quick but my cousin took forever. He was my ride so I had to wait. I had nothing to do so didn’t mind.