midnightdemons7

I’m the problem, it’s me

I had therapy today and I just didn’t want to talk. She started early and things just got worse. I just couldn’t think of anything I wanted to say or talk about. I didn’t make an appointment for next week. She was ok with this. Before ending, she said that this was all about me. All I could think about was Taylor’s song “I’m the problem it’s me”.

I took a nap after therapy. I was up most of the night due to insomnia and pain. My foot acted up just as I laid down around 8 last night and then after I put a sock on to warm it up, it got really painful when it was warm. I kept the sock on because I knew the temp of my foot would go down again. It was hurting this morning when I woke up. I got up about a half hour before I was to have my advising appointment. That lasted literally five minutes. She was telling me the psych class I want to take in the fall is changing to a 200 level so I might have problems registering. I hope not. I want to take classes on Tue/Thurs next fall. I will just pick another class if it doesn’t fit my schedule.

I wanted to read psych today and I think I am going to do it after I take my night meds. All I had to eat today was Ben and Jerry’s cherry Garcia and some Cheetos puffs. I’m not really hungry today and I am stressed out over therapy.

Last night I looked at a different dental place to possibly get my teeth extracted because they are broken. I got a call this morning. I wasn’t in the mood to talk today so I will call tomorrow for an appointment. I’m getting tired of my tongue hurting because it keeps brushing against the broken tooth.

I’ve been battling grief and post nasal drip all day. I almost forgot to blog. I’ve just not wanted to do anything today. I bombed quiz 2 in my psych class. I am mad at myself. Tomorrow I have advising and therapy. I’ve been sad most of the day, think of one or both of my parents. Days like today make me glad the one prayer I asked God for was to be an adult when my parents passed. I asked for this because my parents were older than my friends parents.

I’ve been up since 6am. I tried sleeping but failed. I’ve just been lazy today.

Saturday Blog 09032024

I spent the entire afternoon reading 24 pages of this Anthro article that said salmon was a cult in some Indian culture that I forgot the name of. It was about the giving and receiving of gifts and my god are some cultures weird. The next couple of readings (each at least 20 pages long) all deal with gifts of some sort. Then one of the readings deals with racism. I am not looking forward to that reading.

My right calf has been bothering me all day. It feel tight but every time I try and stretch it, it hurts. I just took a muscle relaxer. I have been taking it nearly around the clock the past few days. Thurs I had some of the awful chest cramps before class and still feel tight.

Quiz 2 in psych is still not up for grades. And chapt 3 isn’t either. Weird that 4 and 5 have been graded but not 3. I did poorly on 4 and 5. I don’t remember what chapter 3 was about. I am not going to read psych until the end of next week. I have to get through the Anthro readings because I am behind. I also need to do the observe assignment. I wish I could take my laptop to Starbucks so I can read these articles than stay in my room. I need to get a new battery so I can travel with it. Even though I should probably replace this as it takes forever to login.

I finally have the game on the Audacy app. Listening to the game today. They are playing in the Dominican Republic. It has been a mix of wins and losses so far but I am not worried as the games don’t really count as it is spring training.

I slept pretty good. I took a trazodone around midnight because my anxiety was high and I wasn’t sure I would get to sleep. I ate a lot today. I am planning on making an egg burrito. I am hoping there is hot sauce in the cabinet. The Frank’s Red Hot stuff I bought was more like a sweet sauce than a hot sauce. I was disappointed but it went good with the chicken nuggets I bought. I might get some more on Monday when my SNAP check comes in. I am going to try and read one more article before bed and listen to the lectures.