2019May04

Red Sox are winning over the White Sox right now, having a 15-1 lead. They are in the Windy City. Chavis has hit 2 bombs, his 1st multi hit HR game. He is the rookie. I just watch via Twitter.

Psych wanted me to call. I did. She didn’t get back to me until a little while ago. I still feel suicidal but didn’t tell her about the things I was thinking or feeling. Thought I would escape until she said in no uncertain terms I am to call her Monday night. Fuck. Should have said just see you Friday but didn’t think that would work. Might be able to do it Monday.

I just had a protein bar. I have no appetite. I was going to make fish and chips, with the leftover Fries from last night but never got hungry. Least the bar is something. I am in such an ugly mood.

I will be going to bed soon. Game won’t be over for another hour or two. I wanted to read Harry as it has been a while but I just can’t seem to read more than a few sentences before my mind wanders. It has been hot in my room so been turning off and on the ceiling fan. Think I will take off the fleece blanket for now. I never know if the air is going to flare up my foot. Foot and ankle are throbbing but not too bad. My right ankle and foot have been weird, having intense pain for a little while then stopping. No idea why.

Monday I am going to try to go out. I haven’t left the house since I saw my psych last week. I need to work on clearing my bed again as my sheets need changing. Maybe I can do that tomorrow. At this point the thing is to just throw the shit in a corner and be done with it. I will see how I feel. I took some gaba. I so wanted a coffee today but woke up well after 2 PM. I’d be up all night if I had some.

That is all for now on my boring life. Until tomorrow

any thoughts?

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