sunday Blog 19092021

Sunday Blog 19092021

This flu shot is kicking my butt. I am still tired and slept all day, again. I had a hard time sleeping during the night. I woke up at 2 to pee and then I couldn’t go back to sleep till 5 or so. I ended up taking some Ativan to go back to sleep.

My therapist responded to my message I sent her. She didn’t say it explicitly but wants me to keep my appointment tomorrow. I am still not sure it is worth it. I am struggling so much with therapy. Some days it helps, other days it is a real struggle to be there, to be vulnerable with someone else.

I need to shower today. I stink. I also need to shave my head again. I did last night and it felt good but my hair grows so fast that I need to shave the stubble off. I bought a new T-Shirt that I think I am going to wear after I shower. I have to change into underwear because I want to see if I still have discharge. I can’t tell with boxers.

I had a bowl of cereal for lunch. It has been the only thing I have eaten today. My mother made chicken cutlets so I might have that for dinner. I have been really bad at hydrating the past two days. I think I only drank like a half a Gatorade yesterday and today with one cup of coffee. The uro said that I need to empty my bladder two hours after I drink my coffee because it is a bladder irritant. I meant to do that today but I fell asleep for like four hours. It has been so hard to get up. I don’t want to do anything. Last night I wanted to read for a little bit so that I could feel accomplished doing something and I ended up going back to sleep around 8pm. I feel so lifeless. I haven’t brushed my teeth in two days. I thought buying a new toothpaste would help me brush more but nope. I know it is this time of year. I get depressed always during mid-August to February. Sometimes it lasts longer.

There are eleven games left in the regular baseball season. My Sox are still contending for the wild card. It will come down to the final last few games. If things stay as they are, we will play Toronto in a one game playoff. The Jays can be a killer and we haven’t done well with them. All comes down to pitching.

any thoughts?

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