I met with my psychiatrist today. I told him about the CRPS spreading and my decision to end my life next year. He said he understood and wishes there was something he could do. He suggested ketamine and I said I would get back to him on it. I heard good things about it but also heard it was short term. It’s too new to know if there are long term effects.
After the appointment, I shaved and brushed my teeth. I didn’t feel like showering. I thought about going to Starbucks and read for a bit but I just couldn’t bring myself to get dressed and go out. I made a ham and cheese wrap for lunch. I don’t know what I want to do for dinner. I might make mac and cheese. I also bought cottage cheese with pineapple and yogurt. I love the Chobani Greek yogurt. I think the black cherry one is the best.
I have tried to get a pain med increase from my PCP but because the pain doc doesn’t recommend it and she didn’t say leave it up to the prescriber in her notes, I am screwed. I made a virtual appointment with my pcp for next week. I don’t know how it will go as she already denied me. I woke up with leg pain this morning. It has been throbbing all day and I don’t know why as it is nice out. It is 65 degrees and sunny. Yesterday was a bad rain day and cold. I am so tired. I really am struggling to stay awake these days as all I want to do is stay in bed and sleep.
Tomorrow I get my blood drawn for the covid study I am in. I also need to get my leg x-rayed. I plan on going to Starbucks for a treat and maybe hitting Chipotle for some Mexican. I haven’t had their burrito bowl in a long time. The other day I ordered a Bartley’s burger from the burger joint in Harvard Square. It was a good burger! The onion rings were cold and stringy when they arrived so didn’t taste so great. I will order fries next time.
I had my groceries delivered yesterday and had the worst driver ever in the ten years or so in ordering from Peapod. He just left the stuff on my porch and piled them. Didn’t even bring them in the house. I brought them in the house and got a palpitations attack for some reason. I wasn’t lifting heavy stuff and didn’t even walk too far, just maybe 10-15 feet from the edge of the porch to my hallway stairs. My niece carried most of the stuff up the stairs for me and to my room (Gatorade). I sent a message to my pcp about it as she wanted to know when I had new palpitation episode. Things settled down with rest. I see the cardiologist Tues morning.
Sox lost again. I am not surprised as pitching still sucks and offense is not there. I don’t know when they will get hot but I hope it is soon!