today in the life of the Midnight Demon

Today in the life of the Midnight Demon

It was nice out today and I was expecting a package to be delivered by UPS so I decided to sit on the porch and read my book. I waited all day because our bell is broken. I read three chapters and had my foot up most of the time. The delivery didn’t take come till after 5pm. I went up to my room, sat on my bed, and my ankle exploded. I looked down on it and it was swollen. Fucking a. I made sure to keep it elevated and it still swelled on me.

I saw my therapist today. I talked about how the PTSD is really bad and I can’t relax except for when my sister is out of the house. I also am having bad dreams as I am waking up startled. She gave me this container skill to do. We went over it during session. It was helpful. I felt calmer afterwards.

I am feeling pretty tired. I walked around my house while waiting for the delivery. Up and down inside and outside. I brought in the garbage barrels as today was trash day. It was pretty windy despite it being nice out. One of the barrels was making a break for the street so I just brought them in the back of the house at the end of the driveway.

My AC is supposed to be delivered tomorrow. I won’t be able to do the same thing I did today as I have a doctor’s appointment. I need to see my shoulder doc for my arm and shoulder pain. I will be taking a cab there with the voucher that I have so I don’t have to walk as it is far from the station. I haven’t decided if I am going to take a cab home or not. I will decide tomorrow.

I am hurting so bad right now. I took a BT med a half hour ago with my night meds, which included gaba. Four fucking pills. I hate it. Tomorrow I need to weigh myself and hope my sister’s scale isn’t right. All this gaba I am taking is putting weight on me. I don’t like it or want it. I hope I will be able to sleep tonight. I was up early this morning because my therapy appointment was at 9. I had woke up at 7 to pee and stayed up.

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