pissed off and grumpy

Pissed off and grumpy

I was supposed to have an appointment with the dietitian today and it got cancelled because my insurance doesn’t cover it. So I checked with my secondary insurance and they appear to cover it. I called the weight center and was told if Medicare denies a claim, no insurance will pick it up. Fucking a. I am so damn mad.

I had sent my refill request for gaba and instead got my pain meds refilled. NOT THE SAME THING but I will take it. I was able to get an increase in my meds and I am thankful because this means I might not have to die next year after all. Then she tells me she is leaving Boston. I am so sad at her leaving because I really liked her. I will have the director of the program as my PCP now. Fun.

I met with my therapist yesterday. I told her what my pcp said about the top surgery and me seeking support from my friends on social media. My pcp doesn’t think my BMI is going to be a problem and that reassured me. She also said that if for whatever reason it can’t be done at this hospital, we can look for someone outside and in other areas of Boston.

I had fog brain when I was seeing my therapist so I wasn’t very talkative. It was very hard to think. I hate when I struggle like that. I didn’t even take any gaba, it was just that I was tired from having a rough night of no sleep. I also had difficulty sleeping last night. I kept dreaming about catheters and needing to go to the bathroom and then waking up to go pee. This every two hour thing is messing with my head in a serious way. And to know that it is permanent doesn’t help my mental issues with it. I talked briefly about this with my therapist but I don’t think she really understands my struggles with it. I have been having bladder pain the last few days. I am going to have to give a sample if it doesn’t resolve over the weekend.

I did a search for nutritionists on my health plan and lo and behold, there is one from the weight center covered on my plan! I sent a message to my doctor. I was so pissed, I decided to take a walk. I had to mail my advance directives back to my pcp. Then I went to the store looking for Oreo ice cream and they didn’t have it. I got some green tea instead.

OMG I am freaking out. My pain meds need a prior authorization and once they get it back from doc, needs three days for approval. I run out of meds the 17^th when they are to be processed but not shipped out. I will run out of meds if this doesn’t get done in a timely manner. I just left a message with them to be aware of the faxes for both meds. I have no idea why she didn’t send it to the retail pharmacy. UGH. I am so fucking anxious and I know I didn’t do anything wrong. I am trying to calm myself by saying I have enough meds now I am ok.

My oldest niece just texted me that she is here. Hopefully spending some time with her will take my mind off these medical fiascos.