I might be okay but I’m not fine at all

And I might be okay but I’m not fine at all

I woke up a couple of hours before my therapy appointment. I had a couple cups of coffee and some cookies. My niece opened the turkey bacon so I made some for myself for breakfast. I had a nice turkey bacon sandwich with cheese.

Therapy went ok. We talked about being trans and how my mother just doesn’t want to accept me as her son. I talked about how painful it was and how I dealt with it through radical acceptance. I was pissed zoom once again got rid of my background of the Pride flag. I had to add it again. I don’t know why it keeps losing it. I also told her how difficult it was to have my mother’s memory not be good and she said that it could get worse as the cancer progresses. I have been delaying telling her about my top surgery because of this. I told her I had thought about the pros and cons of delaying my surgery because of her condition but if my sisters are going on a cruise the beginning of March, then fuck it, I am getting my surgery done. I also want to get it done ASAP in case the stupid GOP decides to infringe on me getting it, even though I am a friggin adult. I just feel bad for trans kids that are going through what they are. So fucking terrible to have them delay their transition due to transphobia. Breaks my heart because I know the suicide rate is going to go up because of it.

After my appointment, I scheduled a cab pick up so I could go to the hospital so I could give a urine sample to make sure I don’t have a UTI. There was traffic on the way there. I think the bridge was up as we just were not moving. I took the T home as I needed to go to the pharmacy and Starbucks. I needed a mocha so bad. I had four shot of espresso in my drink. I loved it.

I have been listening to All Too Well (10 min version) all day because Taylor won a Grammy for her movie of the song. I fricken love this song so much. The lyrics are so fucking on point. I am so fucking happy Taylor won a Grammy. Makes me happy to see her so successful. She will always be one of my favorite artists.