same shit different day

Same shit different day

I had a difficult time trying to sleep last night. I don’t remember the time I laid down but I know it was around 0230 that I got up. I could have sworn it was later and I slept but I didn’t. I was tossing and turning. I do this thing with my feet where I do circles. I find that I am often anxious when I do this. I didn’t end up going to sleep until around maybe 6ish. I don’t know. I did finally sleep and then my med alarm woke me up or my bladder did. I don’t remember which. I used the bathroom and then went back to sleep for a couple of hours. It was so hard to get up today around noon. I had class to attend via zoom. I had wanted to pick up my meds but there wasn’t time. I still had to take a shower.

Today is my one year post op anniversary of top surgery. It’s with mixed emotions as it is intertwined with my mother’s death. She never saw what I looked like after surgery. I still had the bandages and drains when she died a week from today.

I went to class. It was interesting but I really didn’t get all that was said. We are moving to chapter 8 next week so I need to read chapter 7 this weekend. My sister made dinner and then I had cheese and crackers with a cup of coffee so I could get through reading Anthro. I read 8 pages in an hour. I am still not done reading the 23 page article. I swear I spend at least three hours per fucking article for this class. It is too much work. And I don’t give a shit anymore. Grades still haven’t been posted. I feel like all I do for this class is read. Every week there are three or more articles to read in addition to lecture and movies. It’s too much.

I am wicked tired and I don’t think I am going to be up to listen to the game tonight. Opening day is today. I got to take my meds soon and I got to pee for the 100^th time today. But at least I showered and don’t stink. I don’t know why my BO smells like fermented cheese. It is really gross. I had to wash it off me. I can’t wait till Saturday when I can get my haircut.