don’t blame me

Don’t blame me

I am glad I set a second alarm because otherwise I would have missed therapy. I had trouble sleeping again last night. I rested for a few hours and then woke up around midnight. I don’t remember if I had to pee or I just woke up but I couldn’t get back to sleep. I took a trazodone to help me sleep. I woke up around 5am to pee and then went back to sleep for the first alarm. I meant to get up but I fell back to sleep.

I was late leaving the house. It was raining so I had to time my leaving with a bus coming so I wouldn’t be soaked. The umbrella I had was broken. I swear there isn’t an umbrella that is made with quality materials anymore. It wasn’t windy so it was good umbrella day. I got to my hometown about 945. I waited for the bus but it was delayed a little. I was a few minutes late to my appointment. It went ok. I was telling her about the delusions and psychosis I went through after my OD and mostly we talked about the care of my mother for four months. I felt nervous after we talked. She checked in with me and I told her so. Either she thinks I am a cracked pot or she has no idea what she is getting into with me. She gave me her number but I still don’t have her last name. I texted her when I came home for it as my psychiatrist had asked for it. I forgot to ask. I see her on Monday.

Getting home was tricky. My epipen expired and I needed a new one. It was ready at the pharmacy and I thought I would connect from the blue line to green to red. I walked to the station and stopped to the last Italian place in my town for arancini (rice ball). I will go back there to get some cookies. I was really pushing myself walking to the station from my therapist’s office. I was out of breath and wheezing. When I got to the orange line, there was an announcement but I missed the beginning of it so continued on my way to what I thought would be the green line. Well the green line was shut down. I had to go back to the orange line and I decided to take my town’s bus to the Square so I could get my meds. So I went around the world. I went to Starbucks and ate my arancini. It was so good. I had a mocha, which I thought I ordered iced but it was hot. After I ate the arancini, I was so full I couldn’t eat the pumpkin muffin. I will have that tomorrow morning, provided no one eats it. I picked up my med and then went to the bus stop to go home.

I came home and took the quiz that was due today. I kept getting the same question wrong so I had to retake it multiple times until I got a 10/10. Tomorrow is going to be review so we’ll go from there. Exam is next week. I might take it early just to get it out of the way. It will become active sometime tomorrow after class. I don’t know if I am going to work on the extra credit paper tonight. It’s due Sunday. I honestly don’t remember what I read. I did the top half of the paper today and the APA citation. I had to manually put in the DOI thing. That was a pain. I am tired. I need to eat something and take my night meds. I hope I don’t wake up around midnight again. Two nights of insomnia is enough for me.