another one down, final to go

Another one down, final to go

I didn’t feel like going to class today. I was so stressed with having to do the two papers, I was too anxious to leave the house. I did the extra credit article and submitted it. Then I ordered pizza. I looked over the suggestions my professor made and not only does she want me to reorganize but it needs to be rewritten. Basically I have to start over. I had done a separate bibliography for this class but seeing as I needed my research now, I combined the two. I was so anxious I felt sick. I feel like I have something heavy on my chest.

I’m trying to keep things together. I had suicidal thoughts earlier. They lasted a few hours. I didn’t reach out because I didn’t want to make a big deal out of them. I just wanted to die. It just came on. I am glad my therapist doesn’t do those questionnaires my other therapist did. I hated doing them because I knew I was depressed, why are you going to ask me questions about it.

I am tired. I had weird dreams last night. One was of my ex and we were living together or something. It was strange. I had taken Nyquil last night because my nose was stuffy. I didn’t have a good sleep. Tomorrow I am going to go to Starbucks and write my paper. I won’t turn on the wifi so I won’t be distracted with the internet. Just hope I wake up early enough.