had a feeling I could be someone, be someone

I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone

Last night I listened to Luke Combs Fast Car. It is my favorite song and I love that he remade it. I was listening to his album Growing up and Getting old. A lot of good songs on that album. They play frequently on my alternative station I created on Pandora.

I felt a little better today but I didn’t sleep so well. I went to sleep with the puppy as she was alone. We cuddled and then she left for her dog bed. I stayed where I was and slept through the night. I didn’t get up till nearly 11. My med alarm was going off in my room. I took my meds. I played my game and read my messages.

I took a nap in the afternoon in my niece’s bed with the puppy. Until my brother in law called her and then she went to her dogbed. Ugh. I was not happy. We were cuddling along so good. I slept for a few hours. I still feel sleepy. I need to do my history homework. I don’t feel well. I feel dizzy. I really haven’t drank anything all day or yesterday. I had a bagel for breakfast even though I wanted pancakes. I just couldn’t manage to cook today.

Sox lost but made it to the postseason. They still have a week of regular games left. The post season doesn’t start until next Tues I think. They play the snakes in NY and I hope they suck (NY not my sox). The Patriots won today so that was good.

I feel wicked down. I start the new med tonight. I hope it is sedating so I can sleep. I don’t see my psychiatrist until the middle of Oct. I will be on the med for a few weeks. Hopefully I will know in two weeks if it is working. I want to die. I thought about taking the pills today. Last night too. Last night I was in a flare and had a really hard time getting to sleep. I think that is why I am so sleepy today. I have therapy at 9am tomorrow so I set two alarms. It’s supposed to be cool tomorrow so I might wear jeans instead of shorts. It’s getting cooler but I know there will be a week of hot weather eventually. Always happens sometime in Oct.