Cousin’s get together
My med alarm went off and I didn’t want to get out of bed. I stayed in for another couple of hours before I got up. I took my meds then went downstairs to pee. My sister barked at me soon as I was in her sight asking if I was going to the get together and if I was going to shower. Then we fought over the laundry as she put clean clothes in the dirty pile. I don’t know what she did with my niece’s clothes that were on top of the clean towels. I told her this is why we don’t have laundry detergent because you keep rewashing clothes all the time. She got mad and I didn’t fucking care. I also swore at her and she said it was Sunday. I don’t give a fuck, if I swear I swear. So that is how my day started off. I didn’t want to be with her but had no choice. I had to see my aunt as it might be the last time I see her alive as she is up there in age and she was going back to Florida.
I showered and then played my game until it was time to go. I had my outfit all picked out even if my pants were very wrinkled. To my surprise, they fit better than I thought. My waistline has decreased as the pants were a 38 and I still had room. I am probably a 36 now. I wish the scale was telling me something different but it is not. Last I checked on Fri, my weight had gone up, again. I don’t like scales.
I got dressed and then headed downstairs. My puppy came home a few minutes before I went downstairs so I didn’t have time to greet her. I did take a pic of her when I came home because she was just too cute. I fed her the chicken I made the other day but didn’t eat. I put in her kibble so she would eat both.
I was so fricken nervous about meeting my aunt. I hadn’t seen her in years and she definitely hasn’t heard about my transition to a man. She thought I was my baby sister’s son. She was shocked to find it was me, G. She must be having a little dementia or memory issues because she kept asking the bitch sister if she was her goddaughter. And who was I. Overall, I had a good time. The food was good. I took some home because there was plenty left. I talked to my cousin who went to Ohio State. He told me about how their system ran and also the University of Utah where he got his Master’s degree in architecture. We talked about college for a bit. I am so close to graduating. We also talked about getting the credits to graduate. He had earned the credits but because he didn’t have a major, he couldn’t graduate for his undergrad studies. I am trying to earn the minimum so I can graduate.
I got my homework done for my gender studies class. It was tough. I am glad I am seeing my therapist tomorrow. Lots to talk about because I have gained weight and am upset about it. I think I have an eating disorder of some kind but I don’t know what. I am feeling depressed even though I had an okish day. I am tired. I inadvertently had some sangria at my cousin’s. I thought it was fruit punch. It was ok but then the alcohol hit me and I was stupid. My brain was numb and I tried to stay awake. I just want to snooze.
