Author: Midnight Demon

Wicked down kind of day

Even though I slept through the night, I still woke up to pee and then it was so hard to get up when I had to for therapy. I set my alarm but all they seem to do is make noise so I shut them off. I haven’t been getting up when they go off. I had virtual therapy with my therapist. It was ok. I can’t tell if she is worried about me or not but she wanted to support me and increase our sessions to twice a week. I see her at our regular time next week and then again on Friday. She talked most of the session. I didn’t feel like talking. I was feeling down and anxious. She wants me to use mindfulness more. I said I would but it is hard to practice it.

I wanted to shower today and I still might. One of these days I have to groom myself because the hair is just so long and I can’t get it short. I am gonna have to shave and that just takes time and energy. Plus I have to be careful.

I ordered a sub because I had to have something to eat and well, my stomach didn’t want food. Now it is hurting me. I should have just had coffee. I started doing my paper after therapy for English class. I still haven’t finished the book and am supposed to start a new book. I am so overwhelmed. I somehow got to write five pages before Monday. I want to do better on this paper. I still also need to do my Italian. I just want to lay in bed. I hate it when my depression is this bad.

Day at the art museum

I woke up really tired though I slept fairly well. I had a date with my niece to go to the Harvard art museum. There was an exhibit of Edvard Munch’s work that I wanted to see. It was pretty cool. There was one piece where he had artwork on a piece of stone. I thought that was very interesting. There also was an old camera. It was pretty huge by today’s standards. I went to Starbucks after because I needed a latte. There was a long line so I had to wait.

I still have to do my meds for the week. I don’t know if I am going to take the migraine supplement because I have had a lot of headaches this past week as well as two migraines. But the directions say it could take up to 90 days to be effective so I am not sure. I am only going on the third week.

I plan on reading after I do my meds. I need to try and get to chapter 20 today. I will read more tomorrow, too. Goal is to try and finish by Tues. We have the second paper due next week. I am hoping to do better now that I know what he is expecting. I sent my Italian professor a message asking what my grade was. He was vague and didn’t give me an answer. He said that as long as I continue to try and keep up with the assignments and homework, I should pass the class. I am worried that the final oral exam is going to be toast and I won’t do well on it.

Tomorrow I have a phone chat with my DMH worker. I have a full week of stuff every day this week. I am going to be so tired come Saturday. Sunday is Easter so I will need to get my school work done before dinner. I need to try and do the extra credit for Eng this week.