Author: Midnight Demon

Do nothing day

I couldn’t get up this morning. I tried but my body was like fuck it. I missed class again. I wanted to get up around noon but it didn’t happen. I got up around 2 instead. I feel like shit mentally. I had some coffee and some donuts. I don’t feel like eating real food. I still have leftover Chinese food.

I am still waiting for the professor to correct my quiz. I know I did poorly. The concepts are not easy to remember. We are moving to something else this week. I haven’t looked at it yet.

I have therapy tomorrow. I hope I can wake up and get going. Today was a disaster. I feel bad missing class. I am almost up to where I need to be for class in the book. I was reading last night until I fell asleep. I woke up around 2 and then I read until 4. That is probably why I couldn’t get up. I hate this split sessions of sleep.

Shitty night sleeping

I woke up around 2 to pee. I had a difficult time going back to sleep because I had napped before I fell asleep so I was kind of awake. I couldn’t go back to sleep. I kept tossing and turning. I gave up around 230 and started reading my book. I read for an hour and then tried to sleep again and couldn’t. So I just got up. I heard my sister get up and leave the house for work. I was in pain. My chest, shoulder, and ankle/foot were hurting me. I took some pain meds.

I don’t have anything planned today. I just need to read my book. I need to be in the 300s, chapter 17. I am on chapter 12 right now. It is a lot. And it’s not easy reading, subject wise. I have to write up some notes so I can get extra credit for the class. I might do that tomorrow if I leave early.

I made an appt for bottom surgery consult. I asked my pcp for a referral. I am nervous and excited about this next part of transitioning. I want a metoidioplasty. I don’t want phallo. I think I will be happy with meta. And the surgeon is supposed to be really good.

I am so tired. I want to nap but I know it is impossible. I never really sleep during the day. I was surprised I fell asleep when I came home from my cousin’s birthday party. I did my meds and laid down afterwards and it was lights out.

I have a few appts this week. I see my therapist and on Friday I have an eye appt. I think my vision has changed. I won’t be able to afford glasses just yet. Maybe next month but as long as I have the script and the pupillary distance, I might be able to order them online. There is a new company called Pair ware or something like it and you changed the frame with clip ons. I don’t know how much transition or progressive lenses will be. I will check them out after I got my new prescription.

I feel overwhelmed with everything related to school. I want to try and rest for a few minutes before reading again. My head feels so heavy. I have been thinking about my plan for when classes end. I should know sometime in June whether I will be getting financial aid. I don’t know what I will do if I don’t get it. Just makes me sick. If you are not vaccinated against measles, please, please get vaccinated or check your titers. Another kid died in Texas where there is a huge outbreak because no one is vaccinated.

Saturday Blog 05042025

I reluctantly got up today. I wanted to sleep. My sister texted me as I was resting. I went downstairs after making a cup of coffee. We talked for a bit until the bitch came down. We have been arguing all morning. I am so sick of her shit. I finished my coffee and wanted another cup but my sister didn’t have cream so I ended up going back upstairs. I had to do my Italian and I already was getting a headache.

I did the best I could on my Italian quiz. I then sent it to a friend to see if I had done somethings correct. Nope. I kept on getting the damn auxillary verbs wrong. I felt so defeated. I changed the grading to pass/fail. Now I just got to keep a D average to pass.

I wanted to nap but I got hungry. My sister made a zucchini lasagna. I had some of that. It was really good. But it didn’t really fill me and I didn’t want the leftover Chinese food from yesterday. I ordered Burger King. I really wanted a burger.

My headache got worse so I took some Tylenol. I had already taken some ibuprofen but it is not doing anything. I want to read my book but head hurts too much. I got to take a shower tonight. I am going to try and nap first. I think a nap might help my head. I don’t know why I am sleepy as I slept pretty good last night.