Category: depression

Some good news

I got an email this morning from my professor that her kid was sick and she would be having class via zoom today. I was glad I didn’t have to miss class. Though while she was talking about an important topic, the therapist place called. I was placed with a therapist! I have an appointment in the beginning of December. It’s in the morning and I hope I can get up early to make it as it is at 10am. The rest of the class went well. Tues is going to be on zoom as well for Thanksgiving break as some students are traveling. I am glad.

I have been dealing with headache all day today. I woke up a few times with it, some of it due to dreams and other times just because my head was hurting and I had to go pee. I tried to work on the discussion but it is wicked technical and the last two questions I just can’t answer with my head hurting. I can’t seem to come up with an answer as my brain can’t process the jargon. I hate this because I’ve had all week to do stuff and these headaches are preventing me from doing it. I am seeing the neuro tomorrow morning. Hope she can help.

My coffee machine broke yesterday. I was not happy. I went to my sister’s today for coffee. I just had one cup. I talked to my sister today and she wanted to upgrade her machine so I will have hers. I don’t have to buy another one. I am fine with that.

Having a bad day. I met with my professor who corrected my exam while I saw her. I did better than exam 1 but the stupid build a brain i did horrible on so those two thing knocked my grade a full letter grade down. I’ve been depressed all day. Then I found out my Keurig is broken. I had to go to my sister’s to get coffee. My cousin took to me the grocery store. I bought some ground beef to make sloppy Joes and they had pumpkin eggnog. I bought half and half.

I called the therapy place and they still are using my deadname, the fuckers. Anyways, since I turned them down, they have no idea when a slot will be available. Just great.

After I came home from shopping, I went to Starbucks to do some school work for more caffeine. I worked on my citations and read the article for this week’s discussion. I also told the professor I won’t be going to class tomorrow as getting home took more than two hours yesterday. I was so fucking grumpy. I didn’t want to go to class but did anyway and it was a nightmare trying to get home. Not going through that tomorrow.

I have a wicked headache. This is the 6th day of the same headache. I sent a message to my neuro but got no response. I see her Fri. I haven’t taken anything because I don’t really know what to take. Ibuprofen isn’t helping and it’s not a migraine. I am so frustrated.

Manic Monday

I’ve been up since before six. My sister got up and forgot to shut the light in the hall. Or maybe daylight was already breaking. I don’t know. I couldn’t go back to sleep. I got up when she went downstairs the second time. I knew she would be having something to eat before leaving for work. I took my meds and checked my messages. I still had the do not disturb on so could only check those that had the notifications on the icon. I didn’t want to get up for coffee just yet. I had a slight headache. I checked my email and did some laptop stuff. The professor hasn’t graded the exam yet. There also isn’t a new folder for this week.

After doing that, I went to have my coffee. It was nice but cold out. I got a message on Facebook saying there was going to be shuttle busses on the red line and it put me in a bad mood. I will have to leave early tomorrow as the stupid T has the buses in the middle of the line and right before the campus. Then it will extend on the 24^th but I don’t know if that is just that day or what. I ordered lunch and then my headache sort of went away but then came back fiercely while I was reading the article for my paper. I couldn’t read anymore. It was a lot of information and I kept having to move my head to adjust my eyes with my glasses to see the paper on my laptop. It’s a 32 page paper. I am only on page 12. I wanted to shower today but haven’t been able to just yet. I think a nice hot shower is what my neck needs. It has been so sore lately. I think I am on my phone too much.

I called the pharmacy for my migraine med. They finally have it in stock but it won’t be ready till like 6pm. I will get it tomorrow after class. I have such pressure in my head. I took some flonase to try and ease it and it helped but now the pressure is back. My head hurts so much. I just want to cry. It’s been four days now I have had a headache. I am late in taking the migraine med. I hate this shit. I feel like I can’t do anything. Everything is so hard when you got a headache. Really hoping a shower makes me feel better. At least I will be clean.