Category: depression

Feeling like crap

I have been feeling poorly all day. The toothache is bad. I tried looking for dentists that took my insurance but couldn’t find any that were close by. I took some more ibuprofen. I have been feeling feverish all day but no fever. I managed to shave and brush my teeth. I still need to shower.

I wanted to do some schoolwork but I feel so lousy. I haven’t been able to just do it. I am tired and just want to sleep. The professor just put up two weeks of stuff. I feel like I am drowning in this class. I just can’t get going. There is a ton of information.

I haven’t eaten today because my mouth hurts so bad. I don’t really know what to eat. I might roast some zucchini. I don’t know. I don’t really feel cooking. Maybe I will make PB&J.

I have an appointment tomorrow with the NP for follow up with my blood pressure. I have to leave the house early. I think I am going to walk to the station that is up the street. The good news is that the Starbucks near the hospital is open again so I can stop by before going to the red line. I have class after the appointment. It’s going to be a long day. I think I will bring some ibuprofen with me just in case my tooth acts up.

Saturday Blog 28092024

I slept through the night. I woke up to pee and wanted to go back to sleep but I had to go get a suit. I had enough half and half for one cup of coffee. I checked my messages. My professor sent two emails. One was for a video to watch before class on Tues and the other was about the exam study guide. I am feeling overwhelmed. I had my coffee and something to eat. Yesterday when I went to get my meds at the pharmacy, I saw what I thought were protein pancakes that I liked so I grabbed them. They turned out to be waffles. They were still good. After I had my coffee and waffles, I went upstairs to get dressed. I really just wanted to go back to bed.

We drove to the store north of Boston to find a suit. And it was a challenge as I was between sizes. If there was a 47, it would have been perfect for me but there was not. The person helping me was wonderful. I learned my neck and arm size for shirts. Of course they didn’t have it. I am hoping the shirt I wore for my mother’s funeral will work. I have to get it cleaned at the dry cleaners. I bought a tie and shoes on Amazon. I hope the shoes are comfortable. I never bought shoes online before.

We came home and my brother in law took me grocery shopping so I could get some half and half. I needed another cup of coffee. One cup was not going to do it. I also got pumpkin muffins. They were so good. I wish they had pumpkin seeds on them. After I put the groceries away, I did my schoolwork. It took a while to find a discussion to reply to. I was being very picky. It was hot in my room so I turned the AC on. I need my room to be cold. My headache came back. I have a toothache that is annoying the shit out of me. I have to get a cleaning soon so will see a dentist about it then. I haven’t decided where to go just yet. I am having neuropathy pains in my head and it doesn’t feel good. So I guess this headache is a migraine. I can never tell what the fuck it is. It annoys me so much. I never know what triggers the migraine. I just become annoyed and irritated by sounds and light. Usually by then it is too late to do anything. I never learn.

Sox have two games left in the season. I plan on listening to the last game tomorrow. I hope Joe calls it as he is retiring and he will be missed. I can’t believe the season is over. I don’t really know what I will be doing this evening. Probably reading the library book. I need to go over the exam study guide. I got so much to do for this class and I don’t know what to do first. I am so overwhelmed.

Brain hurts

My head starting hurting me last night. I got the pressure in my head around 630. I didn’t know if it was going to turn into a migraine or a headache. It turned into a migraine. I took some Excedrin and my night meds and went to bed. I didn’t sleep well. I kept on having bad dreams. It caused me to be up during the night. My head was pounding on and off throughout the night. The Excedrin really didn’t do much and the migraine wasn’t severe enough to take my migraine pill. I just muddled through with it. Luckily, it was a cloudy day so I didn’t have to deal with the sun.

I went to Starbucks and had something to eat and then went to class. I was early so I reviewed my notes. My handwriting is terrible. Somethings I couldn’t make out what I wrote. Then I was trying to figure out the cranial nerves. There are twelve of them. I never could remember them, even when I was trying to learn them back when I was in medical assistant school. I am going to try and learn them this go round. There are some mnemonics that I can use to help.

Class was interesting. We looked at sheep brains. And I found out I got to know the parts of the limbic system and basal ganglia. There is a lot of information and I am so overwhelmed by it all. I also need to create a brain and detail it and describe how it is similar or not to the human brain. The good news is that I goofed up the due date so I have a few more days to do it. I probably will get it done this weekend.

My brain hurts so much right now. I keep trying to figure out which lobe hurts and I can’t quite discern which one it is. It’s definitely the frontal lobe and some of the parietal. My neuro sent me a message today about rebound headache and stuff. She also said that I don’t have anything structural going on to cause this and that reassured me. She said the steroids wouldn’t affect it if it were. So that is good. I just wish I knew what the fuck was going on and could stop my head from hurting so damn much. I don’t think this hormonal as it just doesn’t coincide with the timing of the T. I’ve had the migraines and headaches while on T and in between T. My blood pressure has been good so no problem there. I know the bad dreams and weird dreams are a cause of the headaches and migraines. There is nothing I can do about it until I get a therapist. I had bad dreams last night and it sucked. I don’t even remember what I dreamed about.

Tomorrow if I am up early I hope to go to social security to change my gender marker. I also see my DMH worker in the afternoon. I hope I time it right and I am not too early for the appointment or too late. I plan on bringing the library book with me so I will have something to read to pass the time. I am hoping this fucking headache/migraine is gone by tomorrow. I still need to do the discussion article for the week. It’s an interesting one about a neuron.