a little about politics and suicide attempts

6-Sept-12

I write the date as the European way because I think it is much better than the “American” way.  I have been battling a migraine for the past few hours and it finally has let up. I am wondering what to write in this blog so I’ll just run through my activities for the day. I picked up my niece from school and then watch iCarly and Spongebob. I have to say that these shows have grown on me but more so because I think Sam is a hot shit and wicked funny. Spongebob is just too stupid to be funny but I watch it anyways because it makes me laugh sometimes at the stupidity of it all.

I then began a synopsis of the long ass article of escape from self by Baumeister. I will be talking about this for the next few blogs as it is important for me to vent out. He writes about suicide attempts and the need to escape and I agree with his idea of the escape theory. High expectations of self that lead to either minor or major failures will always lead to suicide attempt or worse completed suicide. There is no real predictive model for this. The high functioning adults will not seek help because they feel it is beneath them or they just think they are too smart to be In therapy.

What gets me with this article is that it is right on the money in every respect that I have always felt when feeling suicidal. I want to escape from myself because I just feel like a failure. My deconstructed self has no where else to go but to oblivion.

Writing this out has helped me understand more about what he is saying and putting it in layman’s terms will help others I am sure of it. I know it will boost my attempt paper once I ever go back to it.

After writing and watching idiotic shows, I read some of the American revolution. This book is taking me forever and I don’t think that George Washington is ever going to make an appearance in this book though the author seems to think so. We are at the battle of Breed’s Hill (though historians have called it Bunker Hill, which is inaccurate apparently) in Charlestown and Howe has just ordered another assault on the rebels. I think it is still hysterical that the English people think this was all just a rebellion and the American people were found on radicalism.  Wish I could say the same today but I don’t know what American stands for anymore. It has suffered more with the loss of economy and now the presidential election has two morons worse than the other. It is difficult to see who is going to win but if Congress is republican, most likely we will get a republican president because after all congress does run this country not the president as much as he likes to think he does. If calling for the budget is any indication, course after my cousin’s email about the falsehoods of the electoral commercials, I am not so sure which way to vote now. DO I want change or do I want things to be the same for the next four years,…I am not a political person so I may have no idea what I am talking about and I am ok with that. If you are not then I suggest you leave the blog but then this isn’t about politics. It’s just that all the word on twitter tonight was the DNC and so I had to write a little about this because it’s on my mind. I am worried about where my country is headed. I don’t know what will happen I just know I am fearful of what will happen and I guess that is where my suicidal feelings come in. if I don’t like the way the election pans out I can always kill myself because it is my right as a human being and no one can tell me otherwise. As long as America is a free country, I think that is my belief that if I don’t like who is elected after I voted for someone, I think it is my right to die because I know the next four years will be hell and I’m not going to like it so why should I live through it??