Sensory Overload

Noise from outside is causing my foot/ankle to go ballistic. I can’t block put the sounds. I don’t even know what to do as this hasn’t happened in a while. I know part of it is because I was up at 0300. I had a hard time going back to sleep and then when I did, I only slept for a little over an hour. My med alarm went off. I should have taken my meds and shut the damn thing off.

I am not suicidal, yet. Pain is manageable right now. It is around an 8. If it goes above that I will take a breakthrough med. Maybe some lorazepam, too. Ankle has been throbbing since I woke up. I feel so out of sorts. Just feeling blah. Keep having to clear my throat but nothing is coming up. It is really irritated. Been drinking fluids but it doesn’t seem to help. Should see if a cough drop will help.

I had a little lunch and feel so fucking bloated like i had a huge meal. I haven’t really been eating and lost 3 lbs in a week. I just keep losing weight because of no fricken appetite. I want to make my chili cornbread casserole dish. I just got to find the energy to go to the store. Not sure how the tyrant (sister) will take to me cooking instead of going through my stuff. Man has got to eat, right?

Hoping to see my therapist this week but may not happen. I am restarting PT for my back this week. My voice finally came back Friday and everyone has said it is deeper than it has been. Think the hot shower I took the other night might have relaxed the muscles in my neck and shoulders enough to let the whatever above my cords be free. Someone in my support group said that that could be it as she went through a bout of laryngitis too while under stress. I don’t know. Just can’t stand walking on eggshells at home. Sets off my PTSD and increases my anxiety.

Haven’t been to Starbucks in a week. Still have my iced coffee but it is not the same as espresso. Probably could use it today but I don’t feel like going out today. Getting dressed would kill me and I know the outing will exhaust me more than the espresso can work. Maybe tomorrow.

any thoughts?

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